Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML
Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML
Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML
Today, I fell asleep while lifeguarding, thinking I could get away with it due to my sunglasses. When I woke up, I saw my boss waving at me. Apparently she'd been trying to get my attention for five minutes. FML
Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML
Today, I was forced to get up in front of ten swim teams, including my own, and a hundred spectators to swim 100 yards with an obvious boner sticking out of my suit. FML
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Top comments
ryannmichael 17
That's a hard situation to be in... sorry OP
random2212 16
Omg that's terrible!
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Comments (77)
xskaix 6
all of the hard on puns
shablagoo22 11
Really want a follow-up on this one... Sorry :-( Horrible, but one day you'll laugh about it.. kinda
XxXswAgXxX 7
I'm a lifeguard too and I have the same problem man. Keep focused dude
shanson 22
I don't have much pity for you OP. Yeah it's a misunderstanding but life guarding requires your full attention. Missing a drowning child is extremely easy, and you're lucky your day dreaming didn't cost that child his life
little_one 20
He wasn't day dreaming! Someone could have said his girlfriends name his brain responds and BAM boner town. Seriously some if not most young men get random erections without even thinking about anything. He saved the kid, he was doing his job. Just an awkward uncomfortable situation.
XxElementzxX 12
and you don't think there are 3 or 4 other lifeguards on duty?
missmoschner 18
You deserved it. Shouldn't have dirty thoughts at all around kids.
Kroekerkat 17
Right because Big Brother is watching, not to mention how easy it is to control random thoughts. *sarcasm*
fetuseater54 7
this might save you tell them that the adrenaline rush did it some people in crazy situations get hard on something that can't be controlled
cyberI7 13
Human Resource people always think they run the company (speaking of mine course). They are rude and intrusive for lack of better words. Be honest, they have already planned to put your head on a platter.
asherm 15
It was due to the adrenaline of having to save someone right?
THEDARKLORDOFALL 17
Hard luck chap
FitFriday 32
1) Wrong time wrong place 2) I wish I was there to see how you explained that 3)Follow up