Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML
Today, while I was working the drive-thru window, a customer sneezed into his hand and then handed me his money. FML
Today, as I worked as a cashier, two girls came up laughing. I smiled as I rang them up, asking what had made them laugh so hard. One looked me dead in the face and said, "You." They then both walked away, laughing. FML
Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick, which isn't unusual we do a lot of drag. While I was applying it, he started to make gross noises and, after a quick glance, I realized he had a massive erection. He then whispered, "Mmmm don't stop now." FML
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML
Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML
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Top comments
StzaCrack666 18
never heard the term "sex nose" before. i might have to use it now
fsomelife 26
At least he didn't sneeze...
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Comments (143)
Late_night83 25
Hot! Lol
hazardmuffin 21
I will never understand why, of all things, people ever choose to use the term "sex-nose." I feel like it makes this FML more awkward in and of itself than the scenario it describes. I mean what the hell is a sex-nose? Sounds like some kind of strange fetish-wear. Like a sex toy attached to your face. Or a gas mask. Like some kind of terrifying sex elephant. Those exist you know. The gas mask/*****. Not the sex elephant.
hazardmuffin 21
No, I just spend too much time on the internet and read too many Cracked articles. I also don't sleep enough.
kenjenkei 32
I feel that you must be a truly disturbed individual if an FML moderator takes time out of his busy schedule to tell you how messed up you are. :P
donkeytowel 11
hahaha, sex nose.. love it :D
davincidasecond 24
I'm somewhat surprised he didn't ask you to blow his nose.
Bekowski 5
He was probably having trouble blowing his "nose".
buckdharma 38
Maybe he is a sex deviant with a deviant septum looking for a nose job, who nose.
SCTetra 10
Sex nose? Feel like a child wrote this.
mr_sarcastic416 29
Gotta get a "Blow My Sex Nose" T-shirt printed! (my idea people, anyone else getting them owes me royalties!!!)
iammaddie1234 9
I hate working at fast food places so much FML and FYL, as well
fruitslut 11
Jeez Louise! Hold the mayo!