Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML
Today, while I was working the drive-thru window, a customer sneezed into his hand and then handed me his money. FML
Today, as I worked as a cashier, two girls came up laughing. I smiled as I rang them up, asking what had made them laugh so hard. One looked me dead in the face and said, "You." They then both walked away, laughing. FML
Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick, which isn't unusual we do a lot of drag. While I was applying it, he started to make gross noises and, after a quick glance, I realized he had a massive erection. He then whispered, "Mmmm don't stop now." FML
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML
Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML
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Top comments
StzaCrack666 18
never heard the term "sex nose" before. i might have to use it now
fsomelife 26
At least he didn't sneeze...
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Comments (143)
Grand_Cookie 21
Of all the slang in the world, this is the first time I've heard sex-nose. You learn something new every day.
KickRocksNerd 11
I love your profile pic!!! GBR!!
LyraAlluse 25
This will definitely be added to the long list of strange things people engage in while sitting at the drive-through.
fsomelife 26
At least he didn't sneeze...
Michele2luv 8
Best comment so far lol
fsomelife 26
Ever in the history of FML?? Oh, stop it, you...
dreamsneverfall 8
Why can't some people figure out the purpose of a thumbs up button. 103 other people were capable.
Psychicgirl17 18
Apparently you can't figure out how to use the thumbs down
happylawyer 16
Because some comments are so good (or so bad) that they need futher comments.
Druu 53
Human horn! The LOWER horn!
fsomelife 26
In this case "you can have my nose" doesn't solve anything
cottoncandymango 17
Just saying "sex-nose" already makes me feel uncomfortable. Never heard that one before!
andrew_bellati 11
It's really not that big of a deal, things like that are hard to control..
NiteShayd 10
I'm sure its not that hard to keep your willie in your knickers.
laden_swallow09 35
18- Are you just now hitting puberty, or something? Only some whacked-out exhibitionist would say something like that, otherwise.
andrew_bellati 11
What does puberty have to do with my comment, it was supposed to be a pun that you didn't get did you?
lunin_thoms 4
Wait, I still don't get it...can someone explain?
caligirllife 11
"Sex nose????"
Pesticides 19
what deals with sex that gets fully erect?
Grayness_ 26
Lol. Maybe he saw you and bam. Nah Jk It could've been worst tho. He could've been fully naked o.o
BeccaHugs 17
How would that be worse? OP wouldn't have been uncomfortable or disgusted if she saw his legs or torso. His "sex-nose" was literally the only part of him she didn't want to see.
ScenicSubterfuge 39
Surprise!!!!:)
zevo1415 10
At least he's confident