Today, while I was working at the golf course, two kids stole a golf cart and pulled a snowboard behind it. When I tried to stop them, they ran me over. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML
Today, I lost a glove while snowboarding. I got off my board to find it, when a bunch of kids took the opportunity to kick my snowboard down the hill, while yelling "Run, Forrest, run!" as I frantically chased after it. FML
Today, I was run over by my own car as I tried to push it out of a snowbank. FML
Today, I was fixing something in the back of my truck when a shopping cart sped past me towards traffic. I jumped down to catch it, but it was too late. Luckily, it didn't hit anyone, but a woman and her husband stopped to tell me what an asshole I was. Sorry for trying to save your car from someone else's cart. FML
Today, while playing golf on a local course, my idiot of a friend decided to push his pushcart down a massive hill towards me. When he realized that I was going to be hit, he screamed for me to move, but it was too late. I collapsed to the ground in pain, all while he chuckled about the situation. FML
Today, I went skiing. On the first run of the day, a little girl came out of nowhere and crashed into me. I was fine, but she was hurt, so I called the ski patrol. She told him that I deliberately hit her, and got me kicked out. I was there for 10 minutes. I paid for all day. FML
Today, I was chased on my bike by a couple of guys in a car. I rode into a public park to cut through and try to lose them. I looked by to check if they were following me, but they had to stop. I laughed, looked forward, and rammed into a little girl. FML
Today, I came home from school to find my house ransacked. The robbers shoveled a path from my back door to the driveway, through the snow, then they stole my snow-shovel. FML
Today, I was at the store when I saw that a cart in the checkout line next to me was starting to roll away and the owner hadn't noticed. I tried to help by reaching out to stop the cart from moving, but when the owner saw me with the cart, she began to hit me for trying to steal her purse. FML
Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML
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Top comments
franticravyn 7
They say all teenagers scare the livin' shit outta me... They could care less as long as someone'll bleed.
underguarded 20
This sounds like a job for Chuck Norris. It's ass kicking time.
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Comments (99)
LuhDemDinosaurz 6
That reminds me of Paul Blart Mall Cop, when he pulls over and old man in a hover-round for speeding, and the old guy ran him over....
fogrunner 13
The kids were working at. The golf course? :o
Sweet121 0
Shit happens bro. I almost started my job on fire due to broken equipment. Go have a beer, and forget about it.
lmaoatall 6
Good news op. The kids that ran you over, they just posted their own fml. Seems that they disturbed a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took off and shit all over them. So if you were unable to give them the bird, they got it anyways. Justice!
queenb1621 21
lol sorry that sucks
OsirisFaction_fml 5
Golf club to the head.
MarioDragon 14
Can't FML proof-read the FML's.. I mean, "while working at the golf course." isn't a sentence -_-
perdix 31
Fore!
Snookie85 19
Lol. Too funny!
lulzworthy 3
You deserved it; No fun allowed.