Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML
Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML
Today, I was getting out of the shower and realized I’d forgotten to lock the bathroom lock. I heard someone coming towards the door and panicked. I hid behind the curtain and tried to stay completely still, but my dad walked in, saw me standing there like a statue, and just said, “Oh, erm, I’ll come back later.” FML
Today, I was in the middle of having a shower when I noticed a camera hidden in the corner of the room pointing directly towards the shower which I stood in butt-naked. I live by myself and have recently only moved in. FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Today, I knocked on the door of the bathroom to make sure nobody was in there before I walked in. Then I remembered I live alone. FML
Today, thanks to my habit of peeing in the shower, I accidentally peed in the bath. FML
Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML
Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML
Today, I had to use the restroom while at work. I had the choice of the stall with a broken lock, or the stall with a huge crack in the partition wall. Not two minutes after I sat down, I noticed someone peeking in. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DocBastard 40
I'm left feeling empty after reading this. So many questions! Who was there? Why was he there? What did you do? Did you still pee? Did you scream like a little bitch and pee all over the floor? I need answers!
Tuesdaythe10th 11
Golden Shower
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (279)
ruebenrios 0
Haha thats what i do!
ruebenrios 0
First comment!! Yay
SkoomaKi 28
Shut up, Bieber.
jtthegr8 26
LOL ^
AwkwardPartyBear 24
Congrats, 9. Want a cookie?
mandadarling 10
Skoomaki.. You just about made the world a better place.
ruebenrios 0
He did
jtthegr8 26
I feel bad for the kid...i mean who wants look exactly like Justin Bieber...
ruebenrios 0
My hair is teased dumbfuck
SkoomaKi 28
Nah, definitely Bieber. I don't think calling me ****** helps either. Isn't it past your bedtime?
ruebenrios 0
Nope but its past yours
mandadarling 10
I wouldn't start an interwebs battle with anyone if I looked like the Beebs...
boofgall 16
54- Just stop, you've already made a complete idiot of yourself. To everyone here.
ruebenrios 0
Looked like the beebs??
MarisaCB 16
Leave off him -_- He's like thirteen. Tons of guys had that haircut before Justin Bieber, he doesn't own it for Pete's sake.
ruebenrios 0
Thank you!
onlychildFTW 34
Who gives a shit I he looks like bieber? He isn't bieber so the odds of him sounding like him are low. And I doubt this kid is some semi-famous-with-little-girls singer.
ruebenrios 0
Haha thats true
DocBastard 40
Rueben - Calling someone a dumbfuck around here is a guaranteed way to start a fight. Just laugh it off and this while thing goes away. I do this because I care.
Tuesdaythe10th 11
Golden Shower
StanSmith_fml 9
Hey. You think your funny or something?
TheGewt 7
You're not any more funny than he.
OneNightStander 6
Hey Stan this is coming from a guy who has a baby with its dick out as his pic.
muFilter 19
His funny? What about MY funny?! Oh, that's right... My funny left me when I used this same dumb joke like eight times.
Blackmail111 9
Relax! He was making a reference to American Dad. He was just saying one of Steve Smiths lines in the show.
DocBastard 40
Yeah, because character accounts are SOOOO funny and original and several other adjectives I don't mean. Fortunately all character accounts eventually fade into the abyss, and I have no doubt Mr. Smith here will follow.
Bagel09 11
Screw you guys I'm going home.
AwkwardPartyBear 24
#2 Your profile description makes it even better
SmokingUnicorn 8
It's Nirvana's Nevermind, but you probebly don't even know what that is.
SmokingUnicorn 8
83# It's Nirvana's Nevermind. But I'm pretty sure you dont even know what Nirvana is.
pride87 0
Let me just say I LOVE ur nirvana picture. Deff. Made me smile ! :D
soccerguy2 11
It must have been an awkward moment when for that split second open and the guy just stared at each other. Both probably didn't know what to do.
darrentwx 0
What's OP?
RaggleFrock 13
Organic pineapples.
oicu812xD 16
Old pedophiles
efemel94 7
Orgasmic Platypus
FMLandurstoo 9
Ovulating penises
lk2481 4
Original poster
hthelittleone 10
What the hell am I reading?
pokefan813 16
Orange pickles?
EvilPotato 15
Original Peppers Optional Penis Out Planned Over Peed
italiancows 8
Didn't you here the shower running?
ChicaChica5683 0
Nirvana ftw!!!
DynamicDave 11
Ostentatious Presbyterians. That was a band in the 90s.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Orgasmic Princess
IronicIrony 8
#2- That's a handsome spider you got there.
SkoomaKi 28
Run away and don't look back, that is, if you don't want a scarred memory.
ruebenrios 0
Yup, your a ******
MysticKnight 3
No, he's not but your mom is.
boofgall 16
No, you're* a ******.
mandadarling 10
Coming from a 13 year old Beiber, I'm pretty sure SkoomaKi feels the burn of that one.
ruebenrios 0
Of course he does, after all he has a pussy
mandadarling 10
Maybe he does, and that's cool with me. I myself prefer dogs as pets, but to each his own.
MarisaCB 16
lol 65. Stop arguing. It's unfair to argue with a 13 year old. They always lose.
mandadarling 10
Eh, I suppose you're right. After all, he graciously pointed out that I can't read, so I may want to quit while I'm winning.
wallandpiece 16
Anyone else thinking of Psycho?
elliottemoose 1
I'd probably sh*t myself...
kira_the_boss 1
Surprise butt sex!
anothersuicide 0
Hahha why DO you check behind the shower curtain before you pee? O.o
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
well, obviously there was a reason for it if there was something behind there...
OFWGKTADGAF666 6
For murders duh
Skittlepickle 13
In case something like the above story happens
onlychildFTW 34
Seems weird to always check behind before you pee. Do people in your family hide their regularly? Because if they are showering you can hear water, plus the door should be closed and/or locked.
muFilter 19
In case there's a better urinal/toilet back there, obviously.
icemonkey14 2
Murderers
madelinebriana 11
I don't know about you guys, but I check behind my shower curtain all the time for monsters...
llamafish 25
76 - In my family we ALWAYS hide our regularly. Don't you?
sarah56195 0
It's a fear. I have it. I leave my curtain open!
sillycart 9
Who doesn't?!
YacL 15
Well my shower curtain is always left open, so if I go in there and it's closed I just leave and never come back.
soccerguy2 11
I always do that too. its the worst when its late at night. now if I see mine closed, SWAT might get called.
Ninjasaurus18 9
Me tooXD I have my whole life.
Pigeon89 34
I ALWAYS used to check- never really knew why- paranoia I guess! I've only stopped now because we got a glass shower screen :)
PawsUp_fml 2
147...I love your comment :)
mimi_animee 18
After watching paranormal activity 3 I always have to look inside a mirror before leaving a room for some reason.....
causticgirl 6
Clear plastic shower curtain because they can sneak up on you when your in the shower too
onlychildFTW 34
114 - no My family doesn't hide. But being an only child means that I don't have stupid siblings. You people all seem very paranoid. Even as a small child in the middle of the night I wouldn't check. Just seems like a weird thing to do. Someone hiding in my shower is a never-going-to-happen thing for me.
akayc32 0
231, we'll see
Quidikic 9
76-Who said anything at all, about a shower RUNNING. Face to the palm.
bettyloohoo 0
Amen to that!
untamed112 0
I do it all the time
sslayer777 1
Well, obviously there's a rapist in Lincoln Park. He's climbing into yo' windows, snatchin people up tryin to rape 'em, so you better hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife and hide yo' husband cuz they rapin everybody out here.
bramberkhout 10
So your a big child now, ah now I see.
autumnmoonx3 8
The Shining is why I do. aha.
Pigeon89 34
Not Psycho?
aisthecoolest 8
I'm always scared a creeper might have spawned
KiwiKitten 2
Good thing it wasn't a murderer?
SkoomaKi 28
Or a white egg with thousands of spiders... *shudders*
Da_Bauss435 8
Or some guy asking you to smell some pads
kamikrazy 6
Actually it could have been a murderer. OP could have been taken hostage and forced to write this FML so that the murderer could finally get an FML posted after all of his failed attempts. Too bad its not on his account tho.
moonlight6654 6
Yeah it really depends on who it is
almost34 4
Damn ninjas!
AwkwardPartyBear 24
They are not a ninja because OP noticed them
Bstaut 8
33- It could've been a ninja, just not a very good one.
iliketurdles 7
It was probably Noor.
hockeyoceancity 13
it could have been a dummie that looked real and the real ninja could have been outside waiting for op to run out of the bathroom to strike.
soccerguy2 11
It was a ninja in training. If he wasn't noticed then he would have finally been an actual ninja.
UltimateGIRness 16
It was probably just Noorfml,she is a ninja
alexlovescandy 3
Bahahha this just made me laugh!
mandadarling 10
At least you are semi-prepared. If there was a murderer out there, you would still have time to run instead of peeing. Good for you, op.
wisericky 12
Pretty sure OP would have been running and peeing. :3
mandadarling 10
Well in that case, he would at least be making the floor a little bit trickier for the murderer to run on!
wisericky 12
Lmao I can see it now. "Murderer breaks neck chasing boy pissing himself"
mandadarling 10
I would read that story. I would read that story twice.
ruebenrios 0
Yea read it twice! If you knew HOW to read
Andrewgfffff 0
Wow. You are truly the master of comebacks. Seriously, give up this silly little internet vendetta, it's embarrassing.
mandadarling 10
You're right Beebs.. I can't read. I don't even know how I'm writing this comment right now.. You got me. Take me away to illiterate land..
EduJav321 24
U can pee on the murderer's path to make him slip as he chases you!
finalone34 3
^slow kid on the block
mibrahim01 0
36- Win!
EduJav321 24
Or, or, or... When u see the guy, pee on him; while he is grossed out and confused punch him in the balls and stomach, steal the knife, rip off the shower curtain and wrap it around him, turn on the shower and make him slip, while he recovers break off the towel hanger rack and beat him in the head so he stops struggling, then stab him 4 or 5 times with the knife. Rinse him off with the shower so there are no stains left for evidence, load the body in ur truck and drop it at the local mcdonalds dumpster, noone will see anything unusual with that. Finally, go to walmart to buy a new bathroom set to replace the damaged or destroyed articles
waffle3z 6
You're an ass.
MassaKerr 9
169 - yea so i'll just call the hospital and let em know we got a crazy person dropping in.
Valdrek 26
That's why you knock before entering the bathroom
MysticKnight 3
And of course the peeking tom will kindly answer you.
iiDangerCloseBK 6
*peeping
iiDangerCloseBK 6
*peeping
mandadarling 10
Hey, it's better than a peeing Tom..
RedPillSucks 33
Oops my dumb ass
MysticKnight 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
No one does that. Don't be an insecure little bitch.
hisgirlherboy 5
Gosh you don't have to get all pissy just cause OP caught you in their shower
MysticKnight 3
I deserve getting caught. But you are one whiny little bitch.
MysticKnight 3
I deserve getting caught. But you are one whiny little bitch.
MysticKnight 3
I deserve getting caught. But you are one whiny little bitch.
muFilter 19
Right, because there's absolutely no chance anyone would ever actually be hiding behind the curtain. Right? Right?
MarisaCB 16
Mine is always open, if it was suddenly closed I would check...
sombi3 0
Wow someone's a little bitch, some people have irrational fears stop being a dick
mpsteve137 15
I've seen this FML before.
TheBonzaiGirl 0
Jealous! I want to be a time traveler too :(
MysticKnight 3
No you haven't. Stop lying.