Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to put vinegar in my contact solution. I took my contacts out hours ago and my eyes still burn. FML
Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML
Today, after my 22-year-old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be absolutely hilarious to replace my cold sore cream with superglue. FML
Today, I forgot my contact solution and used my sister's. When I put them in, my eyes burnt like hell. Apparently my sister has a new solution that is acidic and only gets neutralized after 12 hours in a special container. The warning is on the INSIDE of the bottle label. FML
Today, I found out what it feels like to put in a contact while drunk. My eye still hurts. FML
Today, I accidentally sprayed some perfume in my eye. After rinsing said burning eye with water for a few minutes, I half-blindly grabbed the eyedrops my sister left on the counter and used some. They were actually tea tree oil drops. Ouch. FML
Today, my brother thought it’d be a hilarious prank to put Super Glue in my hair extension glue. I didn’t notice until after the first couple of rows. FML
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
Today, while putting on makeup, I got a face full of bloody scratches instead of an even skin tone. Turns out my makeup sponge was full of bits of glass. My little brother forgot to tell me he shattered a mirror beside my makeup box. FML
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Top comments
underguarded 20
I'm trying not to imagine the pain. Besides your brother not only being a complete idiot and not understanding general knowledge of house hold chemicals, you should introduce him to rubbing alcohol's couson ;hydrogen peroxide on a nice open wound.
Enigmax2514 7
Ambush him by placing two mousetraps just below his balls on his bed while he is sleeping, attach the trap to a string, to a pulley in the ceiling, and then finally tape the string to hid eyelids. The trap will go off once he opens his eyes in the morning, sweet ironic revenge
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Comments (158)
NabbdjuretPerry 0
Your eyes are going to be drunk!
EvilPotato 15
I see what you did there.
HowAreYouToday 34
You can still see? Even with your "drunk eyes"? :D amazing
Felix_Felicis15 8
Sorry to burst your bubble, 3, but rubbing alcohol isn't the same as drinking alcohol. You can die from ingesting just a little rubbing alcohol.
Helmut Arias Rodriguez 21
r/wooosh
underguarded 20
I'm trying not to imagine the pain. Besides your brother not only being a complete idiot and not understanding general knowledge of house hold chemicals, you should introduce him to rubbing alcohol's couson ;hydrogen peroxide on a nice open wound.
teh_uber_muffin 3
Dat shit kills.
derpfest 0
Derp is all you get
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Hydrogen peroxide isn't that bad. I'd introduce his hand to paint thinner while he's sleeping, just remember to take it out after about 30-45 seconds.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Hydrogen peroxide doesn't hurt. It just looks weird on a wound because it gets all fizzy.
XAnNiHiLaTiOn 6
Better yet vinegar or lemon juice on his open wound
elementalz 2
Yes I've done this oh the screaming it was so funny
suprmidgt 0
79 - better yet a boot to the f-ing face. Op when you get your bearings beat his ass. I'm the youngest of four boys you can't let him pull that shit.
TritonTheBeast 0
I know how that feels..
RavagedSouI 0
A little child (your victim) placed the alcohol in your monocle am I right dear Pedobear
TritonTheBeast 0
heh heh heh
alex6946 10
D; that sounds painful! Sorry OP
Wreckless_fml 6
nyan nyan nyan nyan
RavagedSouI 0
What does a pop tart cat taste like? I wanna sample of Nyan cat :D
No_LoveMM 3
nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan
EmilyJoSmyth 4
Tac nyan
tpike1296 11
NYAN CAT FTW!!!
imjessicababy 0
I only thumbed the comment of because of your picture
Enigmax2514 7
Ambush him by placing two mousetraps just below his balls on his bed while he is sleeping, attach the trap to a string, to a pulley in the ceiling, and then finally tape the string to hid eyelids. The trap will go off once he opens his eyes in the morning, sweet ironic revenge
BellaBelle_fml 23
I'd hate to be on your 'Hit List'!
Enigmax2514 7
Yessssssss, fear me all ye jerks in the world, you won't know how, you won't know when, but when you least expect it, EXPECT IT
MuziKMajoR 5
Ummmm owwwwwww
minisquid 9
I was gonna recommend a swift kick to balls, but your idea works too.
Enigmax2514 7
Just sit back, cross your legs on the bed, daintily picking up a coffee cup and sip it in the morning, with a sudden smirk as a loud bellow echoes through the hills. What better way to start the day than coffee in bed, a sweet and hilarious revenge and the view of a million birds scattering from the noise through the hills?
lucyisbae 18
Because doing all that is not going to wake him up
alcoman 4
Feel the burn!
Runninvegan 8
This happened to me once... Jk that sucks your brothers a dick.
Bbhd05 0
You know what else is funny? Punching your brother in the face repeatedly.
salvorican 24
Hmmm.. So this is the part where your brother deserves itching powder in his underwear
olpally 33
Or a paintball gun shot to the nuts... we all have our evil ways of revenge though :D
dvl2035 10
and then convince him they're crabs.
hailphire130 0
Such an incredible prank. I am in awe. No wait, that's not a stupid harmless prank at all. You're brother's a douchebag. Smash a rubbing alcohol bottle over his head.