Today, I was at a barbecue. I picked up a piece of cake and began complaining to the man next to me about how horrible it tasted. "This tastes like shit!" I said. His wife baked it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I brought a cupcake to school for my friend's birthday. After taking one bite, she exclaimed that it was the worst thing she had ever tasted and that we should sue the store that I bought it from. I baked it myself. FML
Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
Today, I had to be the asshole who finally told one of our friends that his wife can't cook. This was after she tried to make fajitas using a third-rate premade sauce and processed ham, burned it, and stank up the entire house. He seemed shocked when we all agreed; he thought it was good. We all facepalmed. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is a great cook, decided to try his hand at baking. The cookies he made looked weird but tasted good. I jokingly said, "They taste great, but they look awful!" He responded by saying, "I could say the same thing about you." FML
Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, my coworker brought chocolate muffins to work for everyone. This would have been really nice if they hadn't tasted like rotten blueberry muffins spray-painted brown. I reflexively gagged after taking a bite and coughed up a brown mush in front of her. FML
Today, I hosted a family dinner. I made a roast, potatoes, green beans, and homemade bread. Everything went smoothly until I realized halfway through I'd used powdered sugar instead of flour. No one noticed at first, then my aunt asked in horror, “Why's it taste like cake?” The rest of the meal was eyed suspiciously and I almost fainted from the stress. FML
Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML
Today, I was ringing up a woman at work. I saw she'd bought a birthday cake, so I smiled and said I hoped whoever it was for has a happy birthday. She looked at me in disgust, told me to mind my own business, then called me a "chucklefuck bitch." Okay then. FML
Today, I was at the bakery I work at. A man came in to pick up a cake he said he ordered, but we could find neither the cake nor the order form. He yelled at me about being 'incompetent' before remembering that he had ordered the cake from a different bakery. FML
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Top comments
madasahatter 0
No one likes a douche. No matter who baked the cake, you don't go around telling random people that it tastes like shit
lrb081 0
YTDI. When you're at a potluck style dinner... no wait, ANY kind of dinner that you didn't cook, keep your damn mouth shut and your opinions to yourself. I see your parents failed miserably at raising a polite and well mannered child.
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Comments (87)
skullet 0
women can't cook... GOSH!
The_Pleb 0
SECONED!!! O and YDI for being such a bitch, if you dont like it dont eat it.
Ajjas013 6
It's not cake, it's evil subsitute cake.
Bullet4MyChemaMo 12
I feel sorry for you because you actually know what shit tastes like.
madasahatter 0
No one likes a douche. No matter who baked the cake, you don't go around telling random people that it tastes like shit
testing_fml 0
Agreed. Obviously, SOMEONE made it. Why would you say it tastes like shit? YDI, dick.
hoschiadedodi 0
Sometimes the truth hurts. If it tastes like shit, then somebody can't cook and should know about it. If they can't cope with that, f*** them, not my problem.
ActionManly 11
Hey, your pic is ******* gay and your name makes you sound like some dyslexic asshole elf, but hey, nothing wrong with honest criticism, eh?
waterynuggets 0
LOLLLL @ #56
ilovefatcats 12
YDI for complaing in soviet Russia you tase like shit
dakotalesmercy 6
Go cry in a corner.
robotiick 12
56- hey screw off don't be making fun of ppl
Ninjasaurus18 9
That's what I said!!! OP should have been nicer about it; maybe "What kind of cake is this...? Not my taste." But now she knows not to bring her shitty cake anywhere, due to the decency problems it has.
monkey314159 0
How hard is it to bake a cake? I've made two in my life time and they both turned out great, just follow the damn directions. It's when people start getting "creative" or start making substitutions that the cake starts tasting like shit. Yes, I know you can make cakes from scratch, but unless you're positive the cake will taste great, don't take it to a party.
HookEmTexas07 0
Are you that ******* stupid? Congratu-*******-lations on making a cake from a box. You're just a real Betty ******* Crocker, aren't you? Seriously, try baking/making something from scratch for a change and then you can be critical of other people. Go **** yourself, asshole.
bananamanama 0
My dad likes to make 'smart' substitutions and additions to his food. I've learned not to eat anything he makes anymore. But I do agree, if in public, don't complain about the food, just eat it, or privately throw it out or something.
premiermois 5
19 are you off your flipping meds? #4 was making cakes, not eating babies. my god, dude o_o
lollovelife0304 3
I have made cake from scratch and it tasted great.and I have never really baked anything before this cake. All you have to do is follow a frickin recipe.
DoomedGemini 38
No it's really not that simple. I love baking from scratch and one small mistake can ruin it. I don't understand why you would decide to tell a random person you haven't met that what you are eating tastes bad. Not to mention different tastes, it might have been a good cake but not one he liked the flavor of.
mikuxxhatsune 32
I make cake from scratch, I have done it several times but it really does take a lot of practice. Careless mistakes and accidents do happen. Plus, to make cakes from scratch is way harder than getting a mix and adding water and stirring it. and it was the thought that counts.
lrb081 0
YTDI. When you're at a potluck style dinner... no wait, ANY kind of dinner that you didn't cook, keep your damn mouth shut and your opinions to yourself. I see your parents failed miserably at raising a polite and well mannered child.
Bloodknight 22
That's why you don't complain to strangers. First of all they probably won't care, and secondly it might be someone they know; like in your case!
deven7 0
well that sucks
d4m4s74 12
ydi for being honest
Dingan 0
I agree, your life sucks - there is nothing worse than shitty cake.
Tubasaurus 0
Don't you know? You're not aloud to have a negative opinion about anything anymore.
FarSide 23
A New Jersey woman has no idea what is a douche.
k43L1 0
hahaha best comment ever! honestly OP, didn't you ever learn that if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all? YDI