Today, while I was in the bathroom my mom walked in and tried to have a conversation with me about my bowel movements. I'm 23, and this is a regular thing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked, "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML
Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, my stomach started to hurt. When I got home, my parents had company over, which I had to rush past to use the bathroom. After being in the bathroom for about 3 minutes, my mother yells to me from the other room, in front of the guests, "Are you OK in there?" I'm 27. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML
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Top comments
Nightwing98 22
Time to invest in a lock.
BB_Skylar 22
Seriously? Dude, move out. You know it's time when you have no privacy. Maybe, she's trying to drive you out. Take a hint!
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Comments (63)
The_Basileus 9
And that is just the conversation you want with your mother.
MrsDruidess 23
at his age the conversation should be when the F*** are you moving out one ward OP ~MOVE~
uncle_ssaamm 12
op says its a regular thing.. meaning bowel movements???
Nightwing98 22
Time to invest in a lock.
OysterPearls 33
I don't know about OP's situation, but in my house, the bathroom door is easily unlocked with a small flat object like a fingernail or a coin. So even locking it won't prevent surprise visits from my mom, or anyone else in my family for that matter.
Sizly 12
If he's living in his mothers house instead of his own, I'd say he'd much rather invest in a house.
mineller 24
If she's actually unlocking the door from the outside, I would consider running away. And never coming back.
OysterPearls 33
Yeah, she only does it when she needs something out of the bathroom though. We store a lot of our hair products and such in my bathroom, since it has more storage space, so it makes it necessary for her to pop in every once in a while.
interesting33 37
I couldn't handle that. It is locked for a reason. She should knock and wait for you to unlock it. If she needs something so desperately she can tell you.
revolvearoundme 15
Bathroom door locks are meant to be easily unlocked for the obvious reason that they are meant to keep people from walking in not to actually secure the room from people trying to force entry and in case of emergency not require a key, locksmith , or kicking in a door and hurting the person inside. Also I doubt OPs mom is popping the lock as that would definitely be mentioned.
stryder9090 28
Lock the door
Welshite 40
"Now, honey, I know you missed yesterday's scheduled poo, so I'm going to buy some prune juice for you. We can't have you skipping. It's not healthy."
ellabellaboom 24
You should maybe talk to your mom and tell her that it's not okay with you. Hopefully she understands.
laxtax 19
Maybe it's time to move out
BB_Skylar 22
Seriously? Dude, move out. You know it's time when you have no privacy. Maybe, she's trying to drive you out. Take a hint!
WitEluded 13
HOWARD!?!
zAstonish 20
His mother is dead.
SecundusSecunda 27
YDI for letting this become a regular thing.
doodlecloud 27
Not sure why this is voted down. One or two times sucks, but OP shouldn't have let this become a regular thing. They need to let their mum know that this is not okay. Sure OP's living under her roof but there are limits, and OP's mum should have some basic decency and understanding of privacy. It's not outrageous to expect to go to the bathroom in peace.
SecundusSecunda 27
I guess it's voted down for how hostile it comes across. I could have worded my comment better, but the main point stands. We don't know what OP's culture is, so suggesting he move out might not be within his cultural boundaries. Also, I said what I said because, regardless of culture, privacy is privacy. Going to the restroom is a private thing, and having your mom, dad, sister, etc. there isn't normal. Unless OP is a child and needs the help of his parent(s)?, but he is 23 lol
UncleCaitlyn 21
Is there a lock so you can lock the door? Because if so you might want to use it