Today, while I was in the bathroom my mom walked in and tried to have a conversation with me about my bowel movements. I'm 23, and this is a regular thing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked, "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML
Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, my stomach started to hurt. When I got home, my parents had company over, which I had to rush past to use the bathroom. After being in the bathroom for about 3 minutes, my mother yells to me from the other room, in front of the guests, "Are you OK in there?" I'm 27. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML
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Top comments
Nightwing98 22
Time to invest in a lock.
BB_Skylar 22
Seriously? Dude, move out. You know it's time when you have no privacy. Maybe, she's trying to drive you out. Take a hint!
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Comments (63)
tlnorman 18
Lock the door dummie or better yet MOVE OUT. You're 23 why are you living at home?
Lalala579121 28
I hope you're not a nervous pooer.
Rkikkas9713 25
Are they as regular as your bowel movements?
kcakes03 9
Move out
Tannasgh 22
I would return the favor...perhaps she will get the picture. Otherwise consider littering the floor outside with Legos...
OneFourNine 9
Lock it or shut it. Do you get it?
AuTiAlloy 8
She should have done like Sheldon Cooper and slip the bowel movements chart under your door when you wake up
pacman490 21
That's when you show your technique to see if she approves
chrisbeaudoin 26
Lol
Witchylady 18
Sharing is caring !