Today, while I was in the bathroom my mom walked in and tried to have a conversation with me about my bowel movements. I'm 23, and this is a regular thing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked, "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML
Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, my stomach started to hurt. When I got home, my parents had company over, which I had to rush past to use the bathroom. After being in the bathroom for about 3 minutes, my mother yells to me from the other room, in front of the guests, "Are you OK in there?" I'm 27. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Nightwing98 22
Time to invest in a lock.
BB_Skylar 22
Seriously? Dude, move out. You know it's time when you have no privacy. Maybe, she's trying to drive you out. Take a hint!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (63)
Areyoukiddingmoi 15
A regular thing just like your bowel movements should be
DoomSkuller 28
Is your name Howard Wolowitz?
khorstmye 15
She must be a nurse. This type of thing is completely normal to them. Lol
vishwa_evo 15
I have seen a lot of FMLs like this. Or people walking into people fornicating. I was in the US for 5 years and all the doors that I have seen have locks. Why not use them?
Jakeyz192 7
She probably has the key to the lock tbh. I mean my bathroom lock can be opened with a quarter so... wouldn't surprise me -.-
chinaski7628 32
I'm in the US and neither the bedrooms nor the bathroom of the house I grew up in had locks (an odd design quirk, I guess). We knew to always knock, so I guess there was just never a reason for my parents to install locks. Now that I think about it, I don't know if I've ever lived in a place where I had a lock on my bedroom door....
wordygirl 11
Your mom misses changing your dooky diapers after all these years. The closest she can get to those good ol times is barging in and getting a whiff. So your mom is addicted to your poo. Now what are ya gonna do??
fuckpotato 12
I don't know why this is getting downvoted... I think you're hilarious, #32.
olpally 33
"GET THE **** OUT OF THE BATHROOM MOM!" Is what I would say... Lol Geeze.
Scorpio01 16
23 or 63 mom is mom...
trucker2 33
And MOM can Fuc..ng knock
mld4657 28
is your poo just as regular
bnbhimp 10
Ummm.... You are 23 GTFO
Jakeyz192 7
As is I hate it when she enters to grab something when I'm in the shower, I cant imagine what it must feel like to have that happen. I'm so sorry for you!