Today, my husband spent money and 14 hours learning how to make fake, realistic armour for our Dungeons and Dragons obsessed son, but refused to consider making a Disney dress for our little girl because, "That’s girly stuff, mommy can do it better than daddy." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband and son had their first DIY project. Less than 30 minutes later, our son’s crying in his room. Turns out my husband is just like his dad. “WHY ARE YOU STANDING DOING NOTHING? PASS ME THE THING. NOT THAT THING, THE OTHER THING. HERE, I’LL DO IT MYSELF. PAY ATTENTION, GOD DAMMIT.” FML
Today, after my husband refused to donate to Children in Need because it’s a "waste of money", he came home with swords and shields so he and our son could "wage war in the garden like knights". I wanted to donate £20, the swords and shields cost £500 at least, but I’m the one wasting money. FML
Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML
Today, I took my family to Disneyland. My husband had more fun than my five year-old daughter. He was hitting on the princesses. FML
Today, despite all my hard work persuading my retired husband to take up sensible hobbies, he now cosplays at comic book conventions, collects replica swords from films, goes paintballing once a month with men half his age, and watches two hours of Japanese anime every night before bed. FML
Today, I'd promised my daughter I’d make her costume for School Spirit Day, so I'd stayed up late hot-gluing fabric, only to now notice that I’d attached the sleeves upside down. She wore it anyway because there was no time to fix it, and I spent the day hoping no other parent would ask where I got it. FML
Today, I showed my fiancé the darling Tinkerbell hoodie I'd bought myself during the weekend. Instead of liking it as I'd hoped, he told me my childish wardrobe was embarrassing, and he wasn't going to be seen in public with me until I wore something different. FML
Today, my idiot husband got drunk in the middle of the day and decided to dress our 7-year-old like Rufio from the movie Hook. I wouldn’t have even been mad if he’d done a decent job. Instead, he did a botched bleach and dye job in our boy’s hair that makes him look like a skunk on acid. FML
Today, my husband and I were going over costume ideas for his company’s Halloween party. I suggested to be Ariel the Little Mermaid. He scoffed, “Wow, not only are they changing her race but her body type too?” FML
Today, I got home and found my babysitter furious and my 5 year-old exhausted from crying. Normally he chooses to wear Disney princess dresses but today his grandma came for a visit, saw what he was wearing, told him he was bad, and forced him to wear trousers. I’m ready to kill the bitch. FML
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Comments (2)
DLBL 23
Making armor is much different from sewing princess costumes.
lgrave 8
I'm taking a wild guess that you haven't learned how to make fake, realistic armours