Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, I made eye contact with a very cute girl in a café just as I biting into a croissant. It crumbled so violently that a piece flew up into my eye. She just stared at each me in disbelief as I yelped and rubbed my eyeball clean. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
gntfmlingnow 12
See if she can use her ninja tongue in more interesting ways. If you know what I mean.
DKjazz 20
Marry her. Do it now, before I whisk her away.
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Comments (175)
ilovedinosawers 17
Your girlfriend is awesome
Parisgirl34 12
Lol and gross
zeblarawr 3
i want i girl like that :) ...so did u cow kiss her back thats is only respectful
newburton13 26
Okay. I would like to know why people would want a girlfriend that licks your eyes.
droptableusers 7
Did you ask her what did it taste like?
KingreX32 21
yuck
XxQuartersxX 14
LOL. Sounds to me that shes probably just one of those adorkable type people. Unless she does weird stuff like that often, why sweat it? :)
bluerhhajfk 17
Can someone say pinkeye?
sxm 13
That's not so bad. That's sweet in my opinion.
cypherwars 15
haha.. why should guys have all the fun :D