Today, while getting ready for a job interview, I sneezed while brushing my teeth, splattering toothpaste everywhere and ruining my brand new dress. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while brushing my teeth before a date, I sneezed so hard that toothpaste flew all over my clean shirt. I was already running late, so I panicked and tried to wipe it off with water. It left huge wet spots. I showed up looking like I had just lost a fight with a giant toothbrush. FML
Today, I went to my first job interview in months. Just minutes in, a sudden huge, uncontrollable sneeze overcame me. A wad of snot flew out onto my shirt, which I didn't even notice until the visibly disgusted interviewer pointed it out. FML
Today, I sneezed while brushing my teeth and ended up with toothpaste in my eye. I haven't been able to see clearly for two hours. FML
Today, I rushed to a job interview, but my cat rubbed against me, covering my suit in fur. I grabbed a lint roller, tripped over the cat, and knocked out a front tooth. I showed up sweaty, disheveled, and missing a tooth. I didn’t get the job. FML
Today, I drove to a job interview. I had to sneeze, but because I was driving on the highway, I didn't let go of the wheel to cover my mouth. I didn't know the sneeze was a "productive" one until I was sitting in the interview, looked down at my new blouse, and saw the giant lugie sitting there. FML
Today, I parked in the parking lot at work feeling like I had to sneeze. As I was walking in, the sneeze finally came. Apparently, my nose was bleeding so when I sneezed, blood got all over the floor and my brand new work clothes. FML
Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML
Today, I went to an interview for a job I really wanted and am qualified for. I've been looking for months. This job was perfect; close to home and great pay. Needless to say I spent quite a while preparing. Everything was going great until I had to sneeze, which forced out a loud, long fart. FML
Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML
Today, while at work, a sneeze snuck up on me. Ever sneeze so violently your fake tooth shoots into the cubicle across from you? FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
flopstar 21
Aw hopefully you had some back up outfits
alanamarieg 18
Next time something like this occurs, look up quick home remedies :) sorry OP hope your interview went well anyway!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (94)
mcamilli 14
Always get dressed last!!!!
DaraPhantomhive 14
You could've brushed your teeth in your pajamas?
lmedck07 13
were you not standing in front of a sink? you could have just sneezed into the sink and not had to worry about the first step of "Spit & Rinse"
kirty009 7
With all due respect O.P., the correct terminology is "spatter," not "splatter." "Splat" is the sound that is made when something is directed or spewed toward an object. So the toothpaste would be spattering at your dress, not splattering. On an end note though, I am sorry about your dress and hope you are either able to return it or wash the toothpaste out.
mikbrooke 25
with all due respect #52, splat is not just a sound. splatter verb gerund or present participle: splattering 1. splash with a liquid, typically a thick or viscous one. "a passing cart rolled by, splattering him with mud"
kirty009 7
Let me make this clear, I am not a rude person, I am far from that. I was simply correcting her saying that her toothpaste "spattered" on her dress and not "splattered." And I am correct, my field of study is criminalistics (a.ka. forensics). Anyone who has studied or taken a class in/on forensics will learn that it is in fact "spatter" and not "splatter." It is one of our biggest pet-peeves in the forensics world to hear/see people use the term "splatter" instead of "spatter." Go to a book store or a library, get a forensics book, and look it up.
deejay109 8
If you got the job you will have enough money to clean it up at least.
Jethco 15
Getting Ready 101: brush your teeth BEFORE getting dressed.
Gillett 23
I've learn through experience always put a towel over you when you wear brand new clothes or when you're wearing clothes for an interview. Wait, why the hell wouldn't you brush your teeth first?
dc2fresh 15
???
Soulless_95 20
Why didn't you brush your teeth before getting dressed?
phaelnb 26
Never ever brush your teeth while wearing important clothes. Sounds dumb but isn't, it doesn't have to be an interview, even to a fancy dress party this advice works. Sucks that it happened, but you've learned something at least.