Today, I parked in the parking lot at work feeling like I had to sneeze. As I was walking in, the sneeze finally came. Apparently, my nose was bleeding so when I sneezed, blood got all over the floor and my brand new work clothes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on my way to work. Out of nowhere, my period started. Due to allergies, I had uncontrollable sneezes. Now, I have blood all over my pants. FML
Today, I sneezed and peed myself while working out at the gym. FML
Today, I peed myself in the dressing room after work when I sneezed. Someone else just walked in as I was trying to dry off my jeans with paper, and probably smelled that I had peed myself. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML
Today, I had a sneezing fit in the middle of the night, like 10 really great big sneezes, but then it was over and I went back to sleep. I got up this morning and turned the light on, and turns out I’d been sneezing blood over everything, the bed, walls, carpet, furniture, clothes, everything. FML
Today, on the drive to church, I got a nosebleed. Not so bad, until I sneezed and splattered myself and my fiancé with blood, snot, and eventually tears. FML
Today, I had a nosebleed at work after having recent surgery. As I was walking to the bathroom, I tripped and fell, sending blood splattering everywhere. My manager, who was walking by, looked at me and said, “You’re really committed to the bit.” I was too embarrassed to respond. FML
Today, I heard my coworker sneeze on the other side of the break room, and right after I felt something wet hit my cheek. FML
Today, I kneeled down to tie my shoe and sneezed, nailing my face onto my knee and breaking my nose. FML
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Top comments
MandySkittles 18
Rubbing alcohol takes blood right out of clothes. Don't ask how I know.
RichardPencil 32
You’re gonna look like a bad-ass who bleeds for their work. Your new co-workers will instantly be in awe of you.
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Comments (6)
RichardPencil 32
You’re gonna look like a bad-ass who bleeds for their work. Your new co-workers will instantly be in awe of you.
MandySkittles 18
Rubbing alcohol takes blood right out of clothes. Don't ask how I know.
25000bees 10
r u rlly trying to sound cool bc you know how to get blood out of clothes???
Selene1090 26
I've always used peroxide. I've never tried rubbing alcohol though.
idrow 7
Nothing like showing up to work looking like a crime scene, lol. That sucks. And yeah, those clothes are probably ruined.
Razell 13
This is why they invented handkerchiefs. Which are still sold in the men's department of your average department store. Remember: carry two, one for your use, usually in your back pocket, and a clean one in your breast pocket to offer to someone who needs it, but doesn't have their own. Or to use as an emergency wound dressing, whichever.