Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML
Today, I decided to call my wife while she was having a private lunch with my parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through my fantasy, she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me while I was at work. She did so by telling me she has a yeast infection. FML
Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML
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Top comments
DGross 8
At least you know she was having fun :-)
lizliz07 0
this isn't a FML. get over it. it's not like this is the first time you guys have slept together. it would suck if you just got married and found out she always giggled during sex!
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Comments (92)
ThemeaningofLife_fml 0
At least she thinks you're amusing
CallMeHush 1
Don't worry, she always laughs when you talk dirty to her.
perdix 31
Not me. I quit trying years ago. I once had a girl demand that I talk dirty to her in the middle of sex. I launched into quite an elegant rant about shit and piss. It was really dirty. She didn't let me finish.
pixiecrusher 0
it was probably because your screenname for FML is stretch nuts, and you probably called them that when you were talking dirty. try to refrain from using language that sounds funny. it might not be funny words but when said out loud the word ****** sounds funny.
OIFMedic 0
should try the dirty talk and backing it up with some ruff sex, they always dig that!! my gf does.
iamchuck 0
Try putting it somewhere uncomfortable before talking dirty next time. If she still laughs, become a comedian.
Smilzen 0
Like the back of a Volkswagon.
iamchuck 0
Nice. Mallrats reference.
OIFMedic 0
I mean you have to pound that p$@@y!! she won't be laughing then!!
bmalley 0
I see grammar errors by the OP anybody see the grammar Nazi yet?.... oh meant, where the hell is snickerdoodles?
UberFail79 0
BLITZKRIEG!!!!!!!!!!!
UK_fml 0
perhaps it wasn't your dirty talk that made her laugh, maybe it was your penis doing nothing but tickles to her.
bordercolliemom 0
#13
bordercolliemom 0
why is it men think that they need to be rough during sex???