Today, a customer opened with, "You open bottles with them thangs?" I looked around my desk for something he might've confused with an actual bottle opener. His girlfriend then informed me that he was talking about my breasts. I work for a bank. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML
Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML
Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML
Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML
Today, after explaining to my two year old that we were going bra shopping, he decided to announce to the entire bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. FML
Today, at work, a customer told me that my teeth would make a very pretty necklace. FML
Today, I had to ask one of my coworkers if we were supposed to return a client's teeth to her. I work at a jewellery store. FML
Today, at work, my front-close bra popped open like an anime character, right in front of the two male coworkers I was talking to. My boobs flung around and I had to pretend nothing happened while subtly crossing my arms and waiting for them to leave so I could fix it. FML
Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML
Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
brodizzle 0
what
adelaide_evening 0
I say it's an FML on that mans girlfriend for having to put up with the guy if anything
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (74)
brodizzle 0
what
Theatregeek788 0
LMAO!! funny...but perverted
IIRoxieII 12
my thoughts exactly
strokesie 23
Of course.. From Ohio. XD
fluorescentadole_fml 8
the strokes!
vmarsbars 0
Um I agree with brodizzle -- what???
buxtehude_fml 0
yeah I seriously don't get why that is worthy of an fml?
trenton95 4
ice submitted like 50 FML's and not one of them has been submitted and this chick comes along with the stupidest fml ever an nails it wow
adelaide_evening 0
I say it's an FML on that mans girlfriend for having to put up with the guy if anything
onlyhuman 0
i don't get it... :/
Melly_fml 0
it's a **** my life cuz she was totally disrespected at work by someone's boyfriend good grief why would she put up with him?
BeautyAndBrains 0
ICK! What an asshole. I also feel really bad fo that guy's girlfriend, because she has to put up with him.
Touch_fml 0
They must be very nice for him to be looking while with his girlfriend you should take it as a compliment. Just my opinion :D
taylortot973 0
sooo many things wrong with that comment…
LLovey 0
I'd probably be a little insulted and disgusted at the guy but it's sort of his compliment? I'd also find it amusing.
extreme_flyboy 0
Must have been realy cold in the bank for you nipple stand to be so big that it looks like a corkscrew :) i dont think he was hitting on her, just making fun of her. So i guess that might be a VERY minor fml...
happypenguin7293 0
thank you for explaining the comment that fml made no sense to me before. but y did it matter she works in a bank?