Today, I had the pleasure of listening to my mom tell me about how her and my dad's weight loss has helped them get more into it when they're being intimate. Suddenly I wish my parents were fat again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML
Today, my mom and dad were talking about how if I lost weight, I would be attractive and have guys all over me. My dad said, “That’s exactly what I’m worried about.” It took me a while to realize they both think I’m ugly. FML
Today, I had to sit and listen in mortification as my mother tearfully told our therapist how much sleep she loses over my being morbidly obese. She doesn't seem to care that I'm body positive and happy with the way I am. FML
Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML
Today, my mum was saying she needs to gain weight because she was underweight according to her doctor. She then said she's going to eat like me in order to gain more weight. FML
Today, my parents came for a visit and spent the whole time pressuring me to ask my doctor for medication to lose weight. FML
Today, I was video chatting with my dad. He handed the phone to his wife, whose first words out of her mouth were, "Why are you getting so skinny?" This was also the same woman whose first words out of her mouth when they came to visit us 3 years ago was how much weight I've gained. FML
Today, I officially completed my weight loss journey, only for my wife, who'd previously threatened to divorce me if I didn't lose weight, to tell me that she realized she liked me better when I was fat and that "you don't know what you have until it's gone." FML
Today, my mother decided to share with me that my father is impotent, and they hadn't had sex in a year and a half. Thanks, Mom. I can never unhear that. FML
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Top comments
lgrave 8
Because sex is a natural thing, and nothing to be ashamed of. Don't make that a taboo. Be prepared to talk with your children about sex,
poopface82 25
There’s a difference between talking to your kids about sex and grossing them out with details of your sex life.
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Comments (2)
lgrave 8
Because sex is a natural thing, and nothing to be ashamed of. Don't make that a taboo. Be prepared to talk with your children about sex,
poopface82 25
There’s a difference between talking to your kids about sex and grossing them out with details of your sex life.
RichardPencil 32
Try not to think that when your mom kisses you hello, you could be getting some of your dad's **** on your face, and everything should be ok. Just don't think about that.