Today, after racing home with a jumbo package of toilet paper, I ran into my house to go to the bathroom. I then realized I'd left the toilet paper in the car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
Today, on my lunch break, I ran to the gas station, and threw some trash away on my way in. On my way out, I realized my keys were missing. Thinking I threw them away, and fearing that I'd be late returning to work, I tore through the disgusting trash only to find my keys on the seat of my car. FML
Today, I accidentally dropped a whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet. It was my last roll. FML
Today, I was moving into my new apartment. I moved in a couple of bags and realized I really needed to poop. It’s been 10 minutes since I realized I hadn’t brought the toilet paper in yet. No one to bring me any. FML
Today, I went to the restroom at school and when I finished my business, I noticed there was no toilet paper. I then began to wait, hoping that a janitor would come by with extra toilet paper. It wasn't until an hour later that I then realized there was four extra rolls hidden behind the toilet. FML
Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML
Today, I had to drive over an hour away to buy toilet paper. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, after taking a massive shit, I flushed the toilet and it clogged. It flooded to the brim and the shit came rising to the top. I didn't know what to do so I grabbed some toilet paper and picked it up, ran to my balcony, and launched it. It landed on my neighbor's car. FML
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Top comments
mattman1994 0
whoops! time to pull em up and waddle for your life! lol
FYLDeep 26
You should really buy additional toilet paper before you run out. Hopefully this taught you a lesson.
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Comments (209)
chel325 2
wow that sucks!
TheeOneMuffin 0
HAhahahha!
Melvar_10 3
thread jacking tyme
ElMarkino 0
hahaha!! Use a towel or your sock.
120796gators 0
umm so I'm guessing that u found a way out or u wudnt have written this
MuuuChuuu 5
awww poor op.....did u call 4help or u stil sitting der?!
Freeze_fml 17
#17, you can still submit an FML with shit up your ass.
120796gators 0
yeah but the op wud hav said he or she was still sitting there on the toilet and how'd the op remember an itouch but not tp
hooah33 0
YDI. always check your ammo before going into battle.
Jennifra 0
I always remember my iPhone!
melig1991 0
Wrong. Phone.
seanreddog 4
Ydi for being afraid of using the restroom at the store.
120796gators 0
that's try Sean
120796gators 0
I meant that's tru Sean
bojeffs 0
that blows!!!!! ms_jessie22 is beautiful.
deannamarie12 0
lol fyl OP
kitty0910 0
Do you have a roommate or someone who can bring it to you? poor dear...
120796gators 0
bojeffs, that was pretty random
RaKum12 0
jajajajaja dat scks, dats y u always have 2 check if u have toilet paper b4 u take a dump muuchuu is bangin
pingpongpickle 8
hahaha how did i know this would be a guy?
RaIeigh 0
#53 - Why would he need a towel to wobble out of the house? For drippage? Er, #53's comment poofed..
tjrocks1294 0
#55 agree
calexis17 0
55- indeed. The description said it was bad. My comments are disappearing.
StoryOfTheYear 15
but Sean! There's *gasp* bacteria on toilet seats! You cood DIE!!
bballer55 0
33-win dude ;)
tjrocks1294 0
I think they should just take the anti-flood protection off cause this bullshit I really annoying!
RaIeigh 0
Ah, I see #59. This is actually the first FML where the Op didn't say the dump was "explosive" or "epic". Nice way to mix things up there.
seanreddog 4
Yeah I heard this one lady got pregnant with mutant aids from sitting on an unclean toilet seat!
Freeze_fml 17
#63, please don't try thinking anymore.
StoryOfTheYear 15
65- that's cuz they jacked that line from Austin powers :P
calexis17 0
59- oh isn't it? Glad to see people know their English language, or at least Google search.
littlemissdqgirl 8
52 that just made me sick :£
THeInSpEraTIOn4u 0
lol this was one of those things that I did not wanna no
tekinzdudez 0
24 you're gay, it's called an iPOD touch
illmatic2 16
81 people say both. It doesn't matter.
StoryOfTheYear 15
81- take a chill pill
tjrocks1294 0
I call it itouch
deathcab7 0
ewww . 92, thats icky.
piinkbunnii 1
Simple solution: since you are already in your house, take a shower afterwards!! +=
caseyxoxo 0
How could you forget the toilet paper? Hahah YDi x100
buddybudda 0
wow this happens to people at least once be original. epic steroid fail (esf)
idonthate 0
116 !! looky here ANqELUqLYBXTCHAFFY ish ` bakk weLL quess wha uqly bxtch i`m qoinq to make yur life hell on dhis site kay babbe SHO qET THE FUQ OFF HOE ?! weres yur FATBXTCHCAKEFRANN?! :-*:-*:-*
StoryOfTheYear 15
Who wipes their ass anymore? Going brown is the way to go green greenies unite! save the earth! Paper is bad! Global warming is BS! uh... YAH!!!!!! Tree-huggers FTW!
illmatic2 16
soty doesn't toilet paper decompose?
Diannaa 0
stranded... on the toilet bowl, what do you do when you're stranded... and you don't have a roll? take it like a man and wipe it with your hand stranded... on the toilet bowl
buddybudda 0
111 guess what you just did. you just talk shit to me. I feel sorry for you, you try and fight with me but you suck ape balls. you came out of no where to say I fail, even though i simply said that wasen't a original. I have nothing further to say, you don't deserve my words jello shit for brains.
We_Li_Ve_Fr_Ee 0
I ate some bugs, I ate some grass, I used my hand to wipe my.... Tears.
kybabyy 4
Go green because global warming is bs? Haha. Nice job Loren. =P
buddybudda 0
116, don't listen to the over sized pussy you are perfect the way you are :)
kybabyy 4
illmatic- yes paper decomposes. But, you have to chop down trees to make paper. Less paper=More trees. Which is better from the environment. Yay! =3
seanreddog 4
Yep. that's about it.
idonthate 0
COME ON ANqELFATBXTCH COME ON UqLY UqLY UqLY COME ONNN
RaIeigh 0
Lol, idonthate your name is so contradictive :/ Was that intended?
We_Li_Ve_Fr_Ee 0
Obvious Troll is Obviouuuus
samantha_durano 6
idonthate: I have no idea what you're saying.
illmatic2 16
kybabyy ahhhh that makes sense
idonthate 0
NAAA IHT`T NOT CONTRDICTIVE BCUZ I DUN HATE IM JUSS qONNA MAKKE DHIS UqLY BXTCHS LIFE HELLLL !@#@#? COME ON RHEPLY TO MEH " ANqEL "
buddybudda 0
Idonthate has a stinky pussy here nasty pussy xO here bag of **** shit
We_Li_Ve_Fr_Ee 0
DU I qETZ TO B COOL CUZ I CAN TYPE LYKE DHIS TO?
idonthate 0
WHA IS ANqEL YOUR qF OR SUMTHIN ?!? qO AWAI ASIN SACK OF BABEE SHXT II qOT BEEF W/ ANqEL NOT YU .
illmatic2 16
144- what's the medal for? just ignore Idonthate. She is begging for attention and you are giving it to her.
madarchod 0
use water and ur left hand
samantha_durano 6
hahaha 149 :D
We_Li_Ve_Fr_Ee 0
Feed them and they will come! (trolls that is). The medal is from my last wrestling tournament, I had a broken toe. D:
blindyblonde13 0
149 thats a win(:
We_Li_Ve_Fr_Ee 0
Thanks #153 and #155 (:
redsox4021 0
150# idonthate YOU talk shit about other girls when simply Your a fat ass ugly bitch. look at you your an insecure fatass that has to rip on people to feel good, go suck your step dads dick you ugly son of a bitch. what are you gonna do? I KAn TaLK lik DIS To CuZ I THInk IM GAnGsTA SoN. you dumb bitch you've got nothing beter to do get a life you ugly fat ****
samantha_durano 6
angel I think you're pretty in a non homosexual way, i think she's just on her period. :D
illmatic2 16
nice I got a few medals this year but they were all 3rd place...kinda frustrating. do you wrestle in college?
We_Li_Ve_Fr_Ee 0
Nah, I'm a Sophmore in highschool. But this year was my first year wrestling, and I went to state which was exciting. Hey let's talk about this in PM so we don't spam the FML with a completely different topic. (:
redsox4021 0
damn ur huge 4 a sophomore!^^^
We_Li_Ve_Fr_Ee 0
Yeah I get that a lot, 6'1'' 189 lbs. (: I'm off to practice, PM me and I'll get back to you when I get home. Peace.
summersizzle 0
hahahahahahaah #33
LaidToRest48 9
There's an app for that.
cearalaken 0
ahahahahahahhaaha fail.
sukhdeep 4
lol
__ShAd0w__ 0
81 ******* idiot
sharpl916 0
akkkk! ppl stop adding a comment with the word 'shitty' in it! You're not impressing anyone with a pun over 50 years old. *takes a chill pill* yea... u, u guys are being awesome with shitty comments..;)
BaKardix 0
hahahahhahaha:) Somethinn I would do :/
summersizzle 0
#165 ahah intimidating sophmore. :)
seanders 10
muuchuu your lack of English skills and retarded looking face irritate me
ALERI0N 0
81- your saying shes homosexual? I dont get it...
ALERI0N 0
nacho libre reference? LOL that movie was hilarious.
KingOf69 0
wow stop crying about and ur dog
yourefreakindumb 0
Freeze, it's not up his stupid, he just said he shit it all out.
samantha_durano 6
186: you are cute :) lol
cincin75 0
calexis, I think there is a better solution. How about go into the bathroom and wash ur cute butt directly? Then u could flush the washed off poop easily.
MuuuChuuu 5
go **** yourself seanders!!!! is that better grammer for you?! ******* prick!!
Lolzords 11
He could be squat n surfing :P
honda52 0
that's gross
pinkchicken1999 4
haha
sighh1234 0
how could you forget?
whatsnewwithluck 0
haha wowwwww
crazykooter 0
first
mattman1994 0
whoops! time to pull em up and waddle for your life! lol
dramaababyy 0
lol you made me laughh.
bojeffs 0
8. hahahha. that wa funny.
aditsan 0
lmfaoooo ahaha i just pictured i giant duck! PS your eyes are absolutely amazing :)
dramaababyy 0
he does indeed. lol.
Brittface 6
haha. That sucks. A lot. xD
xHabsfanx 0
Just take a ******* shower then and wash your nasty ass.
zerobahamut03 2
lmao
Volcomsmy_Lyfe 0
that blows that's y you always remember what you doing in the first place
redsox4021 0
YOU HAVE HIS SHIRT? GIVE It BACK!
littlemissdqgirl 8
lol that's so sad op but you made my day:D