Today, while flicking my bean, I was thinking about my boyfriend who moved to California last week. Before I came, I had to stop because I started crying. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I caught a flight to see my boyfriend, who is stationed in the army 300 miles away. When I was just 15 minutes from the base he called to say that we should break up. Now I'm heading back to California, single and broke. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to a restaurant for lunch and said, “It’s time we talk about our future.” I got all emotional, thinking he was going to propose. Instead, he calmly told me he’s moving to another country. I cried into my breadsticks. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me in tears because the love of his life has decided to move on with another man. He is currently on his way over to cry on my shoulder about it. FML
Today, I moved to California. Too bad the rest of my belongings didn't. FML
Today, I went to see my boyfriend with the intention of breaking up with him. Instead I discovered that he lost his job today and has to move back in with his parents. I can't bring myself to dump someone who's already crying about his horrible day. Now I have to comfort my soon-to-be ex. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 months broke up with me because he is moving. He's only moving 20 minutes away. FML
Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is moving out to California to be with a girl he met while on Chatroulette. We broke up because he thought we were moving too fast. FML
Today, I ran into my boyfriend. The same guy that told me he was still in Florida with his family. FML
Today, I saw my ex-boyfriend at Wal-Mart. This would have been fine had he not broken up with me because he was "moving to Canada." FML
Today, I was crying because my cat died. My boyfriend cupped my face in his hands, looked me straight into the eyes and said, "I love seeing you cry." FML
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Top comments
PurpleFrostingg 7
Lol. " Flicking my bean"
actingbro 3
Who says "flicking my bean"? Lol
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Comments (286)
Xero3g 5
This just makes me laugh.
bullrider92 19
The biggest Fml is that she couldn't cum.
Enzo158 0
Lol no she had to stop its not that she couldn't
shamille 5
Oh my. Guess they don't filter these into the intimate category on the app...
Harlequin073 6
Lol "flicked my bean". Classic
zombiekitten87 12
What self-respecting woman uses that kind of terminology?
bellidona 15
Get off ur high horse
frankwolf86 0
flickin my bean.... wtf?
mrjude 3
Rubbing her clit.
perdix 31
I hope you didn't make it scabby. Lately, there have been too many FMLs about poor masturbation technique. It's tragic, really. Your bean-flicking skills must be lacking that you were so easily distracted into thinking about your departed boyfriend as opposed to an oiled-up stud who ***** you mercilessly with his giant dong while massaging your feet and ironing your dresses. Invest in a vibrator -- technology beats the old-fashioned way.
curliegirlie85 0
I can't believe this FML made it on here. It's stupid.
Vaginabutter 15
If at first you dont suceed, try again. Go flick your bean again.
L1v3_L0v3_Lau9h 18
When I firstly read the "flicking my bean" part I though you were making coffee or something lol