Today, while flicking my bean, I was thinking about my boyfriend who moved to California last week. Before I came, I had to stop because I started crying. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I caught a flight to see my boyfriend, who is stationed in the army 300 miles away. When I was just 15 minutes from the base he called to say that we should break up. Now I'm heading back to California, single and broke. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to a restaurant for lunch and said, “It’s time we talk about our future.” I got all emotional, thinking he was going to propose. Instead, he calmly told me he’s moving to another country. I cried into my breadsticks. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me in tears because the love of his life has decided to move on with another man. He is currently on his way over to cry on my shoulder about it. FML
Today, I moved to California. Too bad the rest of my belongings didn't. FML
Today, I went to see my boyfriend with the intention of breaking up with him. Instead I discovered that he lost his job today and has to move back in with his parents. I can't bring myself to dump someone who's already crying about his horrible day. Now I have to comfort my soon-to-be ex. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 months broke up with me because he is moving. He's only moving 20 minutes away. FML
Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is moving out to California to be with a girl he met while on Chatroulette. We broke up because he thought we were moving too fast. FML
Today, I ran into my boyfriend. The same guy that told me he was still in Florida with his family. FML
Today, I saw my ex-boyfriend at Wal-Mart. This would have been fine had he not broken up with me because he was "moving to Canada." FML
Today, I was crying because my cat died. My boyfriend cupped my face in his hands, looked me straight into the eyes and said, "I love seeing you cry." FML
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Top comments
PurpleFrostingg 7
Lol. " Flicking my bean"
actingbro 3
Who says "flicking my bean"? Lol
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Comments (286)
carobug 6
Don't feel bad OP! Maybe your boyfriend was 'spanking the ferret.'. Oh the terms for things I read on FML ;D
miSsFlien 15
I laughed too loud because of this comment.
mrmerino 0
That has got to be the most horrifying euphemism for female masturbation I've ever heard. Thanks OP, I think I'm gay now.
blacky_2222 3
Flicking my bean? Just sounds nasty
kitties_fml 12
right?! my immediate reaction was "ew..." who ****** says that? ...and now i'm about to click "spill the beans!"
Btreasure 8
Flicking the bean I've never heard that before and I hope this is the last time
transcedental 18
Oh dear, I am horryfied to read the comments. I got what she meant by the first read of the FML. And english is not even my native language. Not even close. The problem is where have I heard it from ;D
iloooovemylife 7
Sad stuff op
spp87 0
"Flicking my bean" sweet jesus who would break up with you youre the only woman with a sense of humor
nicolegreberis 0
What is flicking my bean supposed to mean? What's a bean?
Enzo158 0
Really lol
Bcfrmkc816 17
I will be glad to show you and make you feel how good it is
97currie 0
Flicking the bean- female's way of masturbating. bean- ********. put that way, it sounds pretty painful though, xD
roobin302 0
doing the dj ??
ihatemyalarm 0
If need be im sure you could find somone else to flick your bean, to help get over your boyfriend of course