Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML
Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML
Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML
Today, was my first day at school. I got kicked out of the class for imitating a monkey. I wasn't imitating a monkey... I was laughing. FML
Today, at work, I came back from my break to find a child covered in mud. Turns out it wasn't mud. One of the other children had taken all of the poop out of their diaper and smeared it all over the floor, walls, and other children. The other teacher hadn't noticed, and I had to clean it all up. FML
Today, I had to clean up after the kid who discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML
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Top comments
aedar 16
I have to ask, was it one of the kids or one of the monkeys?
ssnow_fml 20
Hey, sometimes humans fling their poo too.
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Comments (35)
Anon E Muss 11
Wow, that's a shittty thing to do. Were you monkeying around? After all, monkey see, monkey poo!
Allornone 35
so does R Kelly. you have a point.
shutupmichaela 18
just because they're intelligent doesn't mean they have to be mature!
katjohn11 6
And they have a sense of humor too!!
talon2301 6
Kids can be so mean.
soulreaper12296 28
A monkey or one of the kids?
marcusling 4
Some populations of monkeys can latently carry the monkeypox virus (aka Herpes B virus) which is relatively harmless to simians but has an 80% fatality rate for humans, and you can contact it from getting urine or fecal matter in your eyes or mouth. You should ask the institution you were at for info to see if you need to be checked out.
Ninjerman 7
They were tired of your shit? Sorry, supposed to be funny, not mean
jvanevery 19
thus proving your point, monkeys are pissed off at being locked up and the only weapon they have is their own shit