Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML
Today while at my job as a store clerk, I walked by a family. I smiled at their little boy, who responded by flipping me off. As I was walking away, I looked back in time to catch his dad give him a high-five. FML
Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML
Today, as usual, I worked at McDonald's. Although I tried to diffuse the situation, an old man was absolutely furious, and punched me in the face over BBQ sauce. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
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Top comments
OmniFML 0
FALCON PUNCH!
Aelaena 6
You should have followed it up by saying 'chew with your mouth closed! what have i taught you?!'
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Comments (171)
airplanefood 0
Thank you, #27! I was hoping someone would say something like that.
grlwitperlEring 0
YDI it for caring about what people at McDonalds think about your parenting
jimbobio 1
..But Mcdonalds isn't a tasty treat, it's like eating cardboard dipped in grease and chemicals. Yummy! Why would you waste your benefits on it?
1unluckyPerson 0
Ouch dude. I feel sorry for ya yet......
Jimboom 12
#27 That would be fine except most parents don't just take their little darlings to Macky D's for 1 tasty treat every now and again. They take them there more often than not. And when the kid is older the scarring they get from being called Fatty Boom-boom would do them no service. If they really want a sweet treat then mommy/daddy dearest should get off their fat McAss and make some cookies. At least you will know what goes into it that way.
b5200 0
ydi for actually taking kids there, that shit isn't safe for adults.
lyndis_fml 0
Huh. So a few people in McDonalds think you disciplined your child. OH NO F YOUR LIFE IT'S ALL GOING TO SUCK FROM THIS POINT ON. That said, it'd be better to beat your kids than to feed them that swill. At least they'd be well-nourished.
eliz3 0
That's just a funny story. I think the real issue is you feed your kids at Mcdonalds, that's the bad parenting...
sue_fml 0
Awwww! I don't know why, but this is so cute to me!
The_Master 0
thats funny...and your username is awesomely fitting