Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML
Today while at my job as a store clerk, I walked by a family. I smiled at their little boy, who responded by flipping me off. As I was walking away, I looked back in time to catch his dad give him a high-five. FML
Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML
Today, as usual, I worked at McDonald's. Although I tried to diffuse the situation, an old man was absolutely furious, and punched me in the face over BBQ sauce. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
OmniFML 0
FALCON PUNCH!
Aelaena 6
You should have followed it up by saying 'chew with your mouth closed! what have i taught you?!'
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (171)
cprompt 0
Aww man, you mean everyone at McDonald's has a negative opinion of you?? That sucks, I know it's hard to cultivate a good image with the McD's crowd.
1bored 0
Jaja poor kid, and yea he shouldnt eat too much mc donalds, did u at least buy him an ice cream cone for punchin him in the face?
Jimboom 12
Well... feeding your kid that shit it would be better for him if you were a child beater. At least he would only be hurting/bruising on the outside then.
noshitsherlock 0
OH MY GOD, that is so HILARIOUS
F_Y_Comments 0
Pretty standard at many McDonalds
Cannon75 0
Okay, so you missed the high five. But how do you strike your kid so hard that people mistake you for a child beater? It's a high five... And to add to #12 - I hope he did get an ice cream cone. After all, you did eat at McDonald's. It's not like drinking a diet coke is going to make the meal any healthier, so why not give him an ice cream cone? Clearly deserved.
24788 7
I'm sure it wasn't that hard. Is your son mad at you ...? If no then who cares?
jimbobio 1
Like McD's isn't full of child beaters anyway.
nikki1001 0
#13: .....And on the inside. Hello, emotional trauma! That's hilarious. I doubt it was hard enough for him to be hurt, but I'm sure if people caught you mid-slap they'd get the wrong impression if they didn't catch the high-five he was going for originally.
babybarb 0
Sounds like your kid deserved it!