Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML
Today while at my job as a store clerk, I walked by a family. I smiled at their little boy, who responded by flipping me off. As I was walking away, I looked back in time to catch his dad give him a high-five. FML
Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML
Today, as usual, I worked at McDonald's. Although I tried to diffuse the situation, an old man was absolutely furious, and punched me in the face over BBQ sauce. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
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Top comments
OmniFML 0
FALCON PUNCH!
Aelaena 6
You should have followed it up by saying 'chew with your mouth closed! what have i taught you?!'
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Comments (171)
PakiPakiPaki 0
How did you go all the way to his face, was he holding his hand next to his cheek? if so, tell him to move his hand upwards for high fives, besides that, you shoulda hit air, this sounds fake. WOW YOUR FAKE STORY GOT POSTED ON FML ARENT YOU SO PROUD, instead of looking for ways to get posts on FML you should cook your kids decent meals with good stuff now grade f shit
flex_able 0
why did this become something about McDonalds?? the point was the sons head getting hit no???... i feel for you though, my son does the same kind of things to me sometimes
rukusrazor 0
I find it encouraging that there is so much consideration for quality nutrition in this comments thread. Still makes me wonder if people say one thing about them, and still eat there, embarrassed, since McDonald's enjoyed a 80% profit increase last year totaling gain of 4.3 billion dollars.
barryman 0
I always knew fast food was bad for your health but geez! I guess that's what you get for eating McDonalds.
Glazed 0
C-C-C-Combo Breaker!
Alex_DeLarge 0
lol #4 I'll bet this is the excuse child beaters say as they're being hauled off by the police. "It's not my fault! He moved his hand!"
Tehalon 0
"Today while eating with my kids at McDonalds" YDI.
lesp 6
#2 = win Ever heard of Jerry's Kids? This is more like Jerry's Parents. I'm not sure how you managed to pull that manuevor.
InspiredByGaGa 8
YDI for taking your children to McDonalds to eat. You should have them taken away from you before they wind up obese, if they aren't already.
lyssalicious 0
I think the real FML is: "Today, I was eating with my kids at McDonald's. FML"