Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML
Today while at my job as a store clerk, I walked by a family. I smiled at their little boy, who responded by flipping me off. As I was walking away, I looked back in time to catch his dad give him a high-five. FML
Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML
Today, as usual, I worked at McDonald's. Although I tried to diffuse the situation, an old man was absolutely furious, and punched me in the face over BBQ sauce. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
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Top comments
OmniFML 0
FALCON PUNCH!
Aelaena 6
You should have followed it up by saying 'chew with your mouth closed! what have i taught you?!'
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Comments (171)
andreophile 0
Look at the bright side; at least it wasn't a low five. Then you'd be a child molester.
Jane_Lane 0
That's what you get for eating at McDonalds, try going home and cooking a HEALTHY meal for your kids.
LudicMonster 22
Woah woah woah, who's to say OP doesn't cook at home? You heard about ONE TIME they were at McDonald's, and then you assume they eat there all the time?
Treveyon56 14
Wow people are more concerned with that fact that they were eating McDonald's. Seriously there's nothing wrong eating there once in a while.
justdesserts 0
YDI for eating in mcdonalds.
iDontFail_xD 0
Lol! Was it a slap? If yes, then YOURE A CHILD BEATERRRR
soccerstar6115 0
Who cares?! U will never see them again anyway!!!
lysmxx 1
ahahhaha that's rlly funnnyyyy... i'm sorry, but the way you put it was so funny... how old is yo son??? lol i hope you didn't slap that hard haha... ily xoxo Peace XD
maxson_fml 0
To all the people saying "YDI for eating at McD's" Oh, yes, because /God forbid/ that a kid should get a tasty treat once in a while. A meal at McDonald's will /definitely/ ruin the kid's life. (/sarcasm) Gah, the ******* idiocy of some of the people on this site never ceases to amaze me.
um_duh 0
That kid will be scarred for life!
Indiana_fml 4
How do you recognize an spineless opportunist who mindlessly swallows mainstream shit? He claims that McDonald's food is unhealthy. Why does this expose him? Because he proves his utter fail to understand that it's the whole *diet* that must be balanced. A person occasionally eating french fries or drinking a milkshake can well lead a healthier life than someone who blindly curses at McDonald's and thinks that this would be sufficient. But these whiners have a certain point: If you are as ignorant as them, you are better off without McDonald's...simple rules for simple minds.
Akai_fml 4
Three words: Watch the elbow.