Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML
Today while at my job as a store clerk, I walked by a family. I smiled at their little boy, who responded by flipping me off. As I was walking away, I looked back in time to catch his dad give him a high-five. FML
Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML
Today, as usual, I worked at McDonald's. Although I tried to diffuse the situation, an old man was absolutely furious, and punched me in the face over BBQ sauce. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
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Top comments
OmniFML 0
FALCON PUNCH!
Aelaena 6
You should have followed it up by saying 'chew with your mouth closed! what have i taught you?!'
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Comments (171)
Fuzz_fml 0
sometimes kids need to be slapped...maybe not at that particular moment but slapping a kid doesnt make you a child beater
frogyy 0
Agree kinda with #22; don't poison your kids with that crap = Fast food may be easier, but in the long run, it will be worth it to get them something much better to eat =) Sorry that happened though!
TheGasMaskGuy 0
Haha to number 4. This is my fav FML!
deedeegirl 0
LOL The FML is that you take your kids to McDonalds...
uscscreenwriter 0
Oh my God, I want to punch so many of you in the face. Are you telling me that NONE of you ate at McDonald's as little kids? I know I loved it. A parent shouldn't let the kid eat something unhealthy EVER, is that what you're saying? Because most candy is even more unhealthy, especially when it comes to your teeth. He didn't say, "I eat at McDonald's every day and now I'm fat." Then he'd deserve it.
TryToBeKind 0
This is why you engage in a concept called PAYING ATTENTION. You were too busy trying to get back to your food that you weren't thinking. I hope you go to jail. I'm not serious, it was an accident and I don't think people think you beat your kid. If they do, and if you do get investigated (probably not), you can prove you are not abusive. Really. Acidents happen, and maybe your kid will learn not to move so much. That said, you don't have to be the 'cool' parent and high-five anyone. That's what friends do. Tell your kid, "I am your parent, not your friend. I will not high-five you. Either eat or play, or keep your mouth shut. You're lucky I'm taking you here anyway."
so1337 0
You deserved it for taking your kids to McDonalds. You're poisoning them!
RIKANA 0
Go with the punches, you know what you are, and thats all that matters:) RI
cutebutpsycho 0
People are really sensitive to that. One time when my sister was little, my dad was kind of swinging her around the way she liked. This lady came out of a building next to them and started screaming at my dad that she was going to report him for child abuse. She didn't, though. Some people are stupid. You just need to let it go.
BlaisOf_Fire91 0
This happened to me once! A friend was giving me a high five, and I got distracted for a second. I still have a small scar running close to my eye where he hit me. It wasn't fun explaining that one to my friends.