Today, as I was preparing to clear an overgrown area of our yard, I treated my pants and shoes with permethrin, as ticks are a problem in my area. I told my girlfriend explicitly NOT to let the cat out for the day, as it is deadly to cats. She didn't listen and now I have to dig a grave. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog died. My parents told me to bury it out back. In the process, I managed to dig up my cat. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
Today, I let my new cat sleep in bed with me. It was cute until she wiped a tapeworm onto my arm. FML
Today, the abandoned cat that I took in for the night and during bad weather seems to have spread fleas around my house. They're everywhere. FML
Today, I got to go back into my house after it had been tented. Suddenly, a foul stench filled my house. My husband checked all around the house and finally checked under the house. There were more than 12 dead stray cats under our house, and guess who was in charge of pulling them out? FML
Today, like any other day I struggled to put my boots on, went to pee and noticed my pants were covered in what looked like a green dust. I touched it, sniffed it, and it smelled utterly horrendous. So I took my boots off again only to find that one of my cats had took a dump in one of them. FML
Today, I told my toddler to put the cat down, so he did. On my leg. I guess I should have been more specific. FML
Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Today, I learned that, after catching my newly adopted cat so we could spend some quality time in the closet during a tornado warning, she's unwilling to let me close enough to administer her ear drops. I left my covered parking at work and took hail damage for this. FML
Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML
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Top comments
Infomanic 2
So you murdered your girlfriend because she let the cat out? *You get that this is a joke, right?
anonymous17 21
im so sorry rip zeus :( (sorry if i got the name wrong)
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Comments (2)
anonymous17 21
im so sorry rip zeus :( (sorry if i got the name wrong)
Infomanic 2
So you murdered your girlfriend because she let the cat out? *You get that this is a joke, right?
MissCadaverous 11
I just spit my coffee across the table 🤣
tiptoppc 21
This is the way…