Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML
Today, while I was sleeping I heard my girlfriend moaning. She was seemed to be having a wet dream. She moaned more in her dream than when having sex with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I was sleeping next to my girlfriend and I turned over to the sound of her talking in her sleep. Because it was so cute, I was happy and I smiled, until she began to talk about "Troy" and "all the nasty things you can do to me." FML
Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML
Today, I woke up to find out I'd had a wet dream last night. About someone other than my girlfriend. I don't remember anything about the dream, but my girlfriend remembers everything because apparently I talked throughout my dream, and she was right next to me listening. FML
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Top comments
amayakitty 0
wow, what a bitch, she should've kept it to herself, then.
smr167 6
sucks to be you
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Comments (120)
RockVolley09 8
Did you punch her in the vag?
deaddonkey 15
It couldn't have been that sexy. If it was she probably would have jumped the next warm body she was close to.
cman024 4
dump that hoe.
ianandrock 7
time to get on outa that one