Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML
Today, while I was sleeping I heard my girlfriend moaning. She was seemed to be having a wet dream. She moaned more in her dream than when having sex with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I was sleeping next to my girlfriend and I turned over to the sound of her talking in her sleep. Because it was so cute, I was happy and I smiled, until she began to talk about "Troy" and "all the nasty things you can do to me." FML
Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML
Today, I woke up to find out I'd had a wet dream last night. About someone other than my girlfriend. I don't remember anything about the dream, but my girlfriend remembers everything because apparently I talked throughout my dream, and she was right next to me listening. FML
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Top comments
amayakitty 0
wow, what a bitch, she should've kept it to herself, then.
smr167 6
sucks to be you
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Comments (120)
brittany1514 0
woow. notta big deal. maybe she was having a sexy dream about something else. Maybe it was just like a good dream, not neccisarily "sexy" I would just be like, aiighty then.
girlgirlinsanity 0
It would have been perfectly fine if she hadn't refused to have sex with me after it. She finally told me it was about Kate Beckinsale. I'm not as mad anymore--- she tells me I look like her all the time.
dudeitsdanny 10
I like when the poster comes in and tells us what the FML can't. Thank you =)
Spastastic 6
Yeah, I was thinking that was what the fml was, or should be, about. Everyone has sex dreams, and they're not always about the person's significant other -- if someone says they are, they are most likely lying.
D34DM4ND4N 2
Woww, dumb her ass..
sexybitch92 0
That is crazy. I wouldn't like if my boyfriend would think of someone else .. Damn what has this world come too..
bradlyl 0
I'd break up with the bitch right then and there
5t3ff1k4h 47
This isn't an FML, since you can easily play on her fantasies now!
hollowhead01 0
best joke ever: who gets the sandwhich in a lesbian relationship? no one they both eat out! :)
ninjasaurous 0
Girlfriend win.
DemonicFatty 2
lesbian...
5t3ff1k4h 47
Homophobe...
raininsnow 0
jeez, when did so many little kids accounts for fml?