Today, when I was walking in to the grocery store, a van pulls up and a bunch of guys get out who look really drunk. I jokingly said to the sober-looking man who had driven the van "Sucks you have to be the designated driver!" Turns out the "Drunk" guys were actually mentally challenged. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Today, while serving drinks at work to a group of people getting tipsy on wine, I joked about it being obvious who the designated driver was to the only gentleman who'd been religiously sticking to Coke all night. He coldly informed me that he was a recovering alcoholic. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML
Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML
Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML
Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding, "Well, not completely, I guess." FML
Today, I was so bad at maintaining a conversation that the only way for the other guy to put up with me was to drink. He was the designated driver. He would rather risk drinking and driving than being sober around me. FML
Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML
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Top comments
fayayay 0
good thing they're mentally challenged or else he might have been really offended
elloelen 0
for more beer
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Comments (74)
fyourlife11 0
#5 is that why your FML name is IMADONKEYMOO?
marklikescookies 0
#9 i go to the grocery store all the time when i'm drunk haha
whenpigzfly 0
Oh man, FYL indeed. Definitely not your fault - I would have assumed that, too...but why would there be a van of drunk people going to the grocery store?
magsterch33f 0
LOL at #10
imadonkeymoo 0
hehehheeheheheheheh penis
cartering 0
3, Its quite obvious she deserved. What kind of designated driver takes people to the grocery store? unless she was drunk herself, there was no excuse for making such a gross lapse in judgement. Think of all the neurological, not to mention metal, impairments that manifest in ways similar to drunkeness. People with neurological and mentall illness need groceries. If she was at a grocery store, as her post indicates she was, than its safe to assume she hasn't been raised in a bubble where she was never once exposed to anyone who wasn't impaired for any reason other than alcohol, even if we give her a large leeway in assuming that she is someone with no sense of smell, and so we don't blame her for overlooking the most obvious clue beyond the fact that the people were in a grocery store parking lot - namely the lack of smelling any alcohol at all. It only would have taken a slight second of thought for her not to have been a total idiot in this situation, less time to think than it took her to make her comment in fact
LiLOnE 0
way to go dumass
Put_u_on_blast 0
Good now next time shut the **** up trying to be funny
pewpz 0
That's what you get for talking to strangers.
MaxTheFirst 0
that is just the stupidest excuse ever. seriously. you just mixed up mentally challenged people for drunk people? how does that happen? so next time, just keep your yap shut instead of trying to be funny.