Today, I was so bad at maintaining a conversation that the only way for the other guy to put up with me was to drink. He was the designated driver. He would rather risk drinking and driving than being sober around me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Today, I volunteered to be my brother's designated driver. I told him throughout the night that I wasn't drinking, but he ended up leaving me at the bar and going to his friend's house in a cab for more drinks, taking my keys along with him. FML
Today, I asked the guy I'm dating if he could not drink on our next date, because he ends up drunk-driving every time. His response was, "This isn't working out." FML
Today, while serving drinks at work to a group of people getting tipsy on wine, I joked about it being obvious who the designated driver was to the only gentleman who'd been religiously sticking to Coke all night. He coldly informed me that he was a recovering alcoholic. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me grief about my drinking. This would be fine, if he were sober. FML
Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
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Top comments
ajh1800 25
I really hope you opted for a different, more safe way to get home. Sometimes, you just don't click with people. Someone will come along that you'll have great conversations with.
WeirdUS 30
That is terrible, but also might be something to consider. Some personalities don't mesh well, but some are so socially clumsy that they only fit in with those exactly like themselves. That last part can be particularly damaging if they lack social norms and can only mainly function online.
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Comments (4)
ajh1800 25
I really hope you opted for a different, more safe way to get home. Sometimes, you just don't click with people. Someone will come along that you'll have great conversations with.
EmDizzle2007 28
bored to death... if he actually drank and drove.
WeirdUS 30
That is terrible, but also might be something to consider. Some personalities don't mesh well, but some are so socially clumsy that they only fit in with those exactly like themselves. That last part can be particularly damaging if they lack social norms and can only mainly function online.
TheSminty1 17
Perhaps drinking is more of a problem for him than the company you keep.