Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mother-in-law asked me when my fiancé and I were going to start having children. When I told her we weren't planning on having any, she went on a tirade about how selfish and cold I am for denying her precious grandchildren. Now she hates me. FML
Today, I discovered that my father is getting married. Overjoyed and confused because I didn't know he was dating, I called him up to congratulate him, and ask who she was. Apparently, his soon to be fiancée is my mother-in-law. My wife is not happy. FML
Today, 98 year-old mom with dementia thought she was talking to one of my dead sisters and not my wife, telling her she'd better never tell me who my real father really, that I ruined her marriage. She won't have me ruining her reputation, so her getting pregnant with me from an affair was my fault apparently. None of my siblings ever told me. FML
Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody, and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned broodmare." FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, I visited my grandmother who has dementia. She thought I was my father, and told me that I should never have married my mother, let alone have had children with her. FML
Today, I overheard my mother-in-law say to her daughter "I can't wait for you to make me a real grandma." I'm pregnant with their first grandchild. FML
Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML
Today, I overheard my wife telling my mother-in-law I was diagnosed with a learning disability earlier this week. She replied, "I always knew he was a retard. Why did you ever marry that idiot?" All my wife did was mutter "I don't know." FML
Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML
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Top comments
Tits_N_Turbos 20
You should have told her about it AFTER she had finished rounding up the rest of the Dalmatians, she might have been in a better mood then.
WCARlover 35
And now we see why the letters of "mother in law" rearranged spell "Hitler woman"
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Comments (261)
ZielZone 4
Is she a chronic bitch or does she think you're a *****?? Big difference
chili10 18
Why can't it be both?
AzulaSkye 0
Excited at an illegitimate child. Lol.
Dracoboxer357 36
OP, If I was your husband and my mother deliberately disrespected you in such a manner, I would take that very personal and call her on that. My wife is the person I chose to be my everything. Disrespecting you is the same as disrespecting your husband as well. She should be polite, even if distant, instead of deliberately trying to make her son feel like a failure by disapproving his choice of life partner. I am sorry this happened to you, OP. Cheers.
ZielZone 4
Dude... There is something as, showing "disrespect" from one person to another, but adding "ing" doesn't make it a verb... Where the **** did you learn English???
GoW_Chick 15
Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't disrespecting a verb, and a word in the English language, as in "why are you disrespecting Draco's choice in words" where did you learn english?
kickboxingchick 5
It's hilarious because ZielZone thought he'd be a smart ass and he was wrong.
Dracoboxer357 36
Wow, Zielzone takes a swipe at me, and before I can retort, 4 other people bitch slap him, lol! Very kind of all of you, my gratitude. :) But, I will still answer his question as to "where the **** did I learn English?" Actually, my mother. She retired from being a high school English teacher last year. Seriously. :) Sorry friend, better luck next time. ;)
michybean 5
You.... Are a moron
michybean 5
Draco, you are a true gentleman.
Llama_Face89 34
105- And I was wondering what the human race was coming to... Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Exhibit A.
Yeshua_fml 19
What a terrible grandmother... Call her Granny from now on. If she's forty-five, she probably wont enjoy the reminder of her perpetual ageing! : D
Snafuusmc 12
She's a crazy bitch!
Snafuusmc 12
She's a crazy bitch!
loller27 6
why the in-law?
z3vil 11
Because that's what you call the family of your spouse, your in-laws. Mother-in-law, father-in-law, even brother and sister-in-law. After you marry your spouse they are family by law now.
bizarre_ftw 22
Why did dumbasses thumb your comment down? Isn't it sad how many people assume everyone on the Internet can only possibly be from where they're from, and so become assholes when people from different cultures don't know the finer points of theirs?
soccercreator7 3
She's your monster-I'm-law
marianne1985 3
That really sucks I would have freaked out on her. Said some really nasty things and walked away.
123_omg 19
my mother in law is a chronic bitch too...funny thing though- she and my father in law were ecstatic that I was pregnant. it was my own parents who yelled at me that I am not ready for kids OR "financially stable"
MJH47 1
Should have said,"luckily it won't be related to you!"