Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mother-in-law asked me when my fiancé and I were going to start having children. When I told her we weren't planning on having any, she went on a tirade about how selfish and cold I am for denying her precious grandchildren. Now she hates me. FML
Today, I discovered that my father is getting married. Overjoyed and confused because I didn't know he was dating, I called him up to congratulate him, and ask who she was. Apparently, his soon to be fiancée is my mother-in-law. My wife is not happy. FML
Today, 98 year-old mom with dementia thought she was talking to one of my dead sisters and not my wife, telling her she'd better never tell me who my real father really, that I ruined her marriage. She won't have me ruining her reputation, so her getting pregnant with me from an affair was my fault apparently. None of my siblings ever told me. FML
Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody, and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned broodmare." FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, I visited my grandmother who has dementia. She thought I was my father, and told me that I should never have married my mother, let alone have had children with her. FML
Today, I overheard my mother-in-law say to her daughter "I can't wait for you to make me a real grandma." I'm pregnant with their first grandchild. FML
Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML
Today, I overheard my wife telling my mother-in-law I was diagnosed with a learning disability earlier this week. She replied, "I always knew he was a retard. Why did you ever marry that idiot?" All my wife did was mutter "I don't know." FML
Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML
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Top comments
Tits_N_Turbos 20
You should have told her about it AFTER she had finished rounding up the rest of the Dalmatians, she might have been in a better mood then.
WCARlover 35
And now we see why the letters of "mother in law" rearranged spell "Hitler woman"
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Comments (261)
creedaddict 9
I would of said ur hubby is the father
dreamcatcher11 4
I fail to see how she's a ****.. but I most definitely agree that she is a chronic bitch.
dreamcatcher11 4
The fact that she said mother-in-law kind of implies she's married to that lady's son...
perdix 31
For temporary relief from chronic bitch, I recommend **** Punch. Common side effects are serenity and politeness. For kindness lasting more than four hours, seek immediate medical help. Ask your physician about **** Punch, or your pregnant daughter-in-law.
insanelyXnikki 18
Wait, shit... someone else already said that... oh well, point still stands.
insanelyXnikki 18
Wtf? This was supposed to be a reply to a comment further up on this thread...
mrsvickybear 9
I wulda been all like you are bitch!!! Haha suckkkk it!!!
laden_swallow09 35
That made absolutely no sense at all.
acidburnz1107 10
To 60. When IM 36(5 more years) my daughter will be 18( legal age to marry). When IM 39 my son will be 18. If the 45 year old mom is a **** what am i? Lol
brownov6969 4
******* **** ***** **** BITCH **** ******
THE_A_TEEN 28
Calm down, mate. Nothing to get worked up about.
brownov6969 4
Daym you fast
babyshaft408 8
God I hate mother in laws
brownov6969 4
That's mean