Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mother-in-law asked me when my fiancé and I were going to start having children. When I told her we weren't planning on having any, she went on a tirade about how selfish and cold I am for denying her precious grandchildren. Now she hates me. FML
Today, I discovered that my father is getting married. Overjoyed and confused because I didn't know he was dating, I called him up to congratulate him, and ask who she was. Apparently, his soon to be fiancée is my mother-in-law. My wife is not happy. FML
Today, 98 year-old mom with dementia thought she was talking to one of my dead sisters and not my wife, telling her she'd better never tell me who my real father really, that I ruined her marriage. She won't have me ruining her reputation, so her getting pregnant with me from an affair was my fault apparently. None of my siblings ever told me. FML
Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody, and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned broodmare." FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, I visited my grandmother who has dementia. She thought I was my father, and told me that I should never have married my mother, let alone have had children with her. FML
Today, I overheard my mother-in-law say to her daughter "I can't wait for you to make me a real grandma." I'm pregnant with their first grandchild. FML
Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML
Today, I overheard my wife telling my mother-in-law I was diagnosed with a learning disability earlier this week. She replied, "I always knew he was a retard. Why did you ever marry that idiot?" All my wife did was mutter "I don't know." FML
Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML
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Top comments
Tits_N_Turbos 20
You should have told her about it AFTER she had finished rounding up the rest of the Dalmatians, she might have been in a better mood then.
WCARlover 35
And now we see why the letters of "mother in law" rearranged spell "Hitler woman"
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Comments (261)
Ins_Knie 2
...or she knows her son is irreversibly sterile. Oops. Now what? Need a Twix to chew it over?
euamo 0
Congrats! justice sure you don't invite her to the baby shower(:
lolmigosh 15
Thats young for a mother-in-law.
GoW_Chick 15
No it's not too young.
bchelle11 0
ACTUALLY it's not too young. My mom is 37 and I'm 18. I'm not married yet I'm just saying. She would have to be at least 18.
TheCountess 4
Maybe she should have restricted access to the baby if she can't manage to treat the mother of her grandchild civilly and respectfully. After all, it could be very damaging to expose a young and impressionable child to a person like her.
sugaryspice 5
This is a great point! I have unstable family members and we keep theit contact with our daughter limited and supervised.
alfred07 18
If my mother ever spoke to my fiancée like that she would have my permission to call her out on the insult
Shootzz 3
To all the people saying 'tell her the father is her husband.' You realize she'd be implying she slept with her father-in-law right?
desireev 18
Yes. That's the point of the joke.
mandy_alexandra 0
Stand up and say something now cuz if you don't she will always be a bitch to you! Good luck girl!
lizard399 0
Oh gosh I would just give it right back "good question, it's going to be quite an adventure finding him. All those nights at the bar while my husband was at work leaves a lot of possibilities. I might have to leave it up to the little one here to find him when they get older. You should know the feeling, right?" Or maybe I would just say that in my head cause you'll have to deal with her forever now.. but what a bitch.
FairyTales_fml 6
I would have smiled and said "of course not" and walked away :)
funnynesh 10
How old is your husband if your mother in law is 45?!
dreamcatcher11 4
He could be as old as 27 if the MIL had him around 18... I don't see why everyone is so crazy about the ages!! My boyfriend is 19 and his mother is only 37...
J04NN4 3
Seriously, I'm 23, have been married for 2 years and my mum's 46 (she had me when she was 23). Why is everyone so confused by this?!