Today, at age 18, I am now the guardian of my sister's 10-month-old and 4-year-old. Why? She decided to "work on her" and enlist in the army. Guess that means no college for me for the next year. FML
Terrenixwitch tells us more.
Hey guys! Update, the father gave full custody to my sister and wants nothing to do with them. He is also in jail for not paying child support before signing over full custody. As far as the kids, I'm taking care of them the best I can but it's hard since I also work. I love them to death and wouldn't want to give them up. I wasn't ready to be a temp mom this young. I know she will do awesome in her training but it put a lot of financial and mental stress on me. I had to learn quick how to take care of two kids. Thanks everyone for their advice! Also, I had to sign for them because I couldn't see these two innocent kids go through a traumatic experience such as being ripped away from their family after their mother leaving for a year. It was a shock and took a while to adapt but I'm making it work!
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Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
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Top comments
PhantomCrevan 8
Yeah, I'd be talking to a lawyer and seeing what options there are. Even if said options would be government care. She legally can't force you to care for them, and you shouldn't. You don't "better" yourself by dragging someone else into the hole you dug yourself into.
GhostFox 34
I don't think that it's supposed to work that way. Especially since it sounds like she essentially abandoned them- I'd see if there's anything you can do, legally, about having custody moved to someone else.
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Comments (54)
GhostFox 34
I don't think that it's supposed to work that way. Especially since it sounds like she essentially abandoned them- I'd see if there's anything you can do, legally, about having custody moved to someone else.
Terrenixwitch 11
My parents refuse to sign for them since they both work 40 hours a week if not more and she is only 19 and divorced so she concluded that this was her only option to better herself and redeem the years she lost to teenage pregnancy. I just so happened to be conveniently out of high school and have "all year" to become a temporary mom. I have to see a scholarship expire to my dream college in the meantime.
Mynxie 26
You can sign them to another relative or even find the fathers and see if they want custody. You have options
Migole 36
So say "**** you" and go to college. Seriously. If this is your dream college on a scholarship you might give up a once in a lifetime chance.
Misoranomegami 16
I'm all for helping family but DO NOT let that scholarship expire. You'll always regret it. She can make other plans.
anyoldnamewilldo 23
You can also refuse. No one can force you to take custody of children that do not belong to you. I am also not sure what you mean by a year. Joining the Army is not a one year gig. She will have to have someone take care of them every time she is deployed. Where is the children's father in this?
Terrenixwitch 11
I just added a comment explaining where the father is, and it's a year because she goes for AIT training right after she graduates from basic. Thank you for your comment!
bluejello2001 18
Considering the rather unusual circumstances, perhaps your the college will hold your scholarship for a year? I think "I suddenly have guardianship of two tiny humans for a year" is a pretty good reason to ask for a deferral.
PhoenixChick 26
I'm sorry, but it sounds like your parents are pretty heartless here. Their daughter has abandoned their grand children and they're "Too busy" so they sit back and let their other child's future be destroyed? I don't care that they *gasp* work full time, letting you give up a scholarship because your sister is horrifically irresponsible is bullshit.
Sparx1_1 16
So basically you get to see your life ruined to make hers better? Anyone who can put their sister into a horrible situation so that they can abandon their kids does not deserve the sister or the kids.
exileonmainst 16
If you become abducted by a spaceship you might become the guardian of the galaxy instead!
mobrien51598 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
When I was in basic training for the army there were tons of other privates with kids. It's not at all selfish considering less then 1 percent serve their country to protect their rights and the people they love. So next time you should think before you speak or experience the pride that we get when we serve other then that u can't say shit
lexos 16
Or maybe you should get your shit together and not make other people solve your problems. Going to the army is no excuse to just dump 2 kids in someone else's care and ruin the plans they had.
Mooglefox 24
This is not about someone enlisting. A person can enlist all they want. The point of this is that the mother dumped her kids onto her younger sister without a word, where the younger sister can’t go to farther her education.
Mungolikecandy 19
Someone can enlist, there are no issues with that. If enlisting means abandoning their children and forcing someone else to lose their future then that is not acceptable.
Mynxie 26
You lack basic understanding of the situation so I will simplify it for you: the mother abandoned her children. That is selfish. To drop your children off on someone else just to "better" yourself is selfish.
PhantomCrevan 8
Privates with kids who actually made ARRANGEMENTS for said kids' care is one thing. Someone like OP's sister who used joining the army as an excuse to not have to take care of their children because they regret having them is a COMPLETELY different matter. Especially since the sister didn't even try to actually get OP's consent, and just dumped said children on them.
PhantomCrevan 8
Yeah, I'd be talking to a lawyer and seeing what options there are. Even if said options would be government care. She legally can't force you to care for them, and you shouldn't. You don't "better" yourself by dragging someone else into the hole you dug yourself into.
RichardPencil 32
This sounds like the basis of a sitcom. There’s no way someone can assign guardianship to someone else against their will. Put the kids up for adoption and live your life.
almost_there44 26
Nah, I wouldn't throw the kids into an already messed up system because of their negligent mother and father. OP has many options. The kids have a father and legally he must take care of them as well. She needs to find a lawyer to find out where he is because her parents are of no help and she clearly doesn't know where to start. She is young and can't take care of two kids and there are many lawyers who will do cases pro bono, especially because of her circumstances. And who's to say that her sister will make it in the military. Enlisting doesn't guarantee her acceptance, hopefully she doesn't make it. She's a shit person and an even worse mother.
maikeru1979 23
only have FIVE words for you on this... CALL CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES NOW!
piinksock 17
Why didn't you refuse? If you legally accepted them, then you have no one to blame but yourself. Now you've got them though, you might as well be positive about it. These are innocent children, they need help and you're their aunt. You might find the whole thing rewarding? People go to college with kids. It's hard work, but doable. Don't give up hope and decide it it's all over, look for a solution. I had children young and managed, a lot of people have and you can too. It's just in your attitude.
PhantomCrevan 8
Way to blame OP for being part of a family with abusive dynamics. You know what doesn't do kids any favors? Being raised by someone who resents them for ruining their future or making it several times harder than it should have been. Not everyone wants to have kids, and forcing someone to raise someone else's kid because they were too ******* sorry and too much of a waste of air to do so is immoral as ****. You may as well have said what you meant- "Suck it up and be happy that you were forced to take of someone else's kids, and I'm going to casually emotionally manipulate you even though I have no clue what the rest of your situation is like."
piinksock 17
Wow you just said every thing I did, but in a bitchier way and flipped it back on me. Yes being raised by someone who resents them is not good for children. which is exactly why she shouldn't have accepted responsibility for them. But she has. Now she needs to do the job properly, because they are innocent children. Time to grow up. For you and OP.
Danne696 14
Yes, trying to be positive in a flood of "Haha, your life is over" is a real dick move.
almost_there44 26
OP, I see that you responded already. O would suggest you talking to your parents about getting a lawyer. I understand that they work and you are going to school, but these kids are innocent and deserve a chance in a good home if y'all can't provide that from them. Start looking for lawyers to deal with this case and try contacting the father because he has full responsibility towards his kids as well. Hopefully everything works out for everyone. Your sister is disgusting and doesn't care about her kids. No matter who she thinks she left them with, she should have verified that her infants were taken care of before she decided to "find herself." This is beyond pathetic!!
Mooglefox 24
One question: where is/are the father(s)?
feckarsedrink 9
Doesnt work like that..