Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother-in-law asked me when my fiancé and I were going to start having children. When I told her we weren't planning on having any, she went on a tirade about how selfish and cold I am for denying her precious grandchildren. Now she hates me. FML
Today, I discovered that my father is getting married. Overjoyed and confused because I didn't know he was dating, I called him up to congratulate him, and ask who she was. Apparently, his soon to be fiancée is my mother-in-law. My wife is not happy. FML
Today, 98 year-old mom with dementia thought she was talking to one of my dead sisters and not my wife, telling her she'd better never tell me who my real father really, that I ruined her marriage. She won't have me ruining her reputation, so her getting pregnant with me from an affair was my fault apparently. None of my siblings ever told me. FML
Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody, and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned broodmare." FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, I visited my grandmother who has dementia. She thought I was my father, and told me that I should never have married my mother, let alone have had children with her. FML
Today, I overheard my mother-in-law say to her daughter "I can't wait for you to make me a real grandma." I'm pregnant with their first grandchild. FML
Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML
Today, I overheard my wife telling my mother-in-law I was diagnosed with a learning disability earlier this week. She replied, "I always knew he was a retard. Why did you ever marry that idiot?" All my wife did was mutter "I don't know." FML
Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML
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Top comments
Tits_N_Turbos 20
You should have told her about it AFTER she had finished rounding up the rest of the Dalmatians, she might have been in a better mood then.
WCARlover 35
And now we see why the letters of "mother in law" rearranged spell "Hitler woman"
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Comments (261)
Pelreskovich 11
Next time any big news comes along don't tell her and don't let your husband. That'll really fire her up.
Mauskau 36
45 and she has a son old enough to be married...
twinny_sc 13
Apparently so.
geeksaresexy 18
If she was legal when she had her son he could be 27.. even if she was 25 he'd still be 20. What exactly is the problem?
dumboears 8
My mother is 45 and has a daughter who's 22 and married? You have terrible logic.
MrsWojtowicz 16
My mom is 40. I'm 21, married, and have a child. She has two grandchildren.
TinyLittleSilver 4
Yeah? The mother in law could also have been as young as 18 having the son. Not saying she was, but that means he could be 27! Also, it's not uncommon to be married in the early 20s...
sorrowevicteon 9
You are a dumb a$$... Math wasn't your strong point in school was it?
iknoright 0
my has 2 kids married and a grandchild on the way.
cornielious 1
Do the math genius.
cooLING 0
Stop making people feel old!
grannygruber 6
I'm 41 and have three adult children and four grandchildren. I was 17 when the first was born, pull your head out your ass and grow up!
ladyLALAA 29
You can get married at 17, ask Courtney Stodden!
J04NN4 3
Erm, yes? My mum had me at 23 and I got married when I was 21, making her a mother in law at 44. I don't get why so many people have a problem with this. Am I missing something?!
torrea 19
I'm 45 I have a 26 yr old 22 yr old 18 yr old and 8 YR old. Had them all as an adult when I was over 18. Thank you lol
twinny_sc 13
Chronic bitchyness is treatable with a simple bitch slap to the face. Advice to you OP, keep ya pimp hand strong.
HaleyCross 0
Hahaha... Love it! Great advice!
bubo_fml 11
Really eff with her & say, "your Husband!"
bizarre_ftw 22
Or don't let her in the room while she's delivering then bribe the hospital nurse to show the bitch-in-law a baby that is as far away from the parent's race as possible and let the woman go nuts And fake name it something insane
teshab92 0
My mother in law said the same thing to me. When I was in the hospital giving birth to my husbands child my mother told her that she prides herself in not being a terrible mother in law and so on... Don't take any action yourself because your husband will be in the middle o it. Whether he agrees with you or not he'll still resent you for it. So have someone else say something to her so you can't be blamed!!
ssnowywinter 0
Exactly. or be the mature adult and disregard her comment, no need to stir up unnecessary trouble.
bassmaestro 10
Maybe she really didn't know and this is an early sing of Alzheimer's.
dumboears 8
What does the song of Alzheimer's sound like?
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Hmmm, I just can't seem to remember it...
Mirorbo 27
Executed perfectly. I love you both! Fuhohohoho!~
cooLING 0
No. Not even Alzheimer's patients are that nasty.
Llama_Face89 34
147- I dunno...we had to change the dishes we sent up to the senior adult mental health unit at the hospital I work at because they were breaking the disposable bowls and attacking the nurses with the sharp pieces... Old senile people are scary.
areyouforcereal 7
wow, what a bitch. I would've knocked her out.
06rubiandrea_fml 5
She's 45??? How old are you???
ssnowywinter 0
Clearly she's old enough to be married with a baby on the way...
THE_A_TEEN 28
Well, OP is as old as DocBastard, but she never got menopause. True ******* story, man...
MrsWojtowicz 16
06rubiandrea, OP has to be at LEAST 18, and if that were the case, and she and her husband are both 18, his mother would have been 27 when she had him. Derp.
unluckiestperson_fml 14
My mother's only 41 and I'm engaged to be married, and my mother had me when she was 24. It's perfectly reasonable to be a monster in law at 45.
SuperGirlTaDa 15
Does that mean you're 17? Sorry for being creepy and calculating, just it's the same for my mum too:) I'll be getting engaged hopefully next year:)
06rubiandrea_fml 5
Oh thank you everyone for the maths! You people are very very smart! ...I was trying to say that maybe OP was too young to have a child and that is why her mother-in-law reacted that way.....
karkid619 8
I don't get it.
DeathBunny218 37
I think her mother in law was suggesting that she cheated on her partner.
KeyboardWarrior 10
She was making a rude comment by suggesting that OP sleeps around with people other than her husband, who is also the M-I-L's son. Yes, she's saying either OP is a cheater or a *****, which I assume OP is neither of, considering she posted this on FML.
MichellinMan 20
is your brain a peanut? because its not hard to get
luckyducky_7sq 10
@45: "M-I-L" reminds me a little much of "MILF." This is more like "MIL to sucker punch" :D
rubberduckie94 13
You could have described the night of conception in detail.
theonlysweetpea 10
#38