Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mother-in-law asked me when my fiancé and I were going to start having children. When I told her we weren't planning on having any, she went on a tirade about how selfish and cold I am for denying her precious grandchildren. Now she hates me. FML
Today, I discovered that my father is getting married. Overjoyed and confused because I didn't know he was dating, I called him up to congratulate him, and ask who she was. Apparently, his soon to be fiancée is my mother-in-law. My wife is not happy. FML
Today, 98 year-old mom with dementia thought she was talking to one of my dead sisters and not my wife, telling her she'd better never tell me who my real father really, that I ruined her marriage. She won't have me ruining her reputation, so her getting pregnant with me from an affair was my fault apparently. None of my siblings ever told me. FML
Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody, and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned broodmare." FML
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, I visited my grandmother who has dementia. She thought I was my father, and told me that I should never have married my mother, let alone have had children with her. FML
Today, I overheard my mother-in-law say to her daughter "I can't wait for you to make me a real grandma." I'm pregnant with their first grandchild. FML
Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML
Today, I overheard my wife telling my mother-in-law I was diagnosed with a learning disability earlier this week. She replied, "I always knew he was a retard. Why did you ever marry that idiot?" All my wife did was mutter "I don't know." FML
Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Tits_N_Turbos 20
You should have told her about it AFTER she had finished rounding up the rest of the Dalmatians, she might have been in a better mood then.
WCARlover 35
And now we see why the letters of "mother in law" rearranged spell "Hitler woman"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (261)
wdd2 5
You should have told her that she is the father, followed by cackling madly and throwing a spoon at the wall.
Ins_Knie 2
Doesn't anybody else find it odd that - she says 'I am pregnant' instead of 'we are having a child' when talking to MIL? - MIL says that out of nowhere? - OP STILL hasn't answered the question? Perhaps MIL knows OP better and is onto something...
mariet_fml 23
That's one of the stupider things I've read today.
MrsVicious 8
That is a valid comment. She could be a *****.
udontknome 0
I would have been like u know who. So stop acting like a retard well ur probably not acting but still just go fudge urself or something and don't waste my time cuz I am happy right now
jason2123 1
haha lol very funny
andrewsgirl2010 7
My mother in law did the same thing...
jasony0423 0
Are you a little bit of a ****? If not, ignore her. Of so, well, ydi I guess.
chubby_choco 17
Yeah, mother-in-laws do crap like that. Ignore the cow.
DEMACIA_fml 6
Chronic Bitchiness is a nationwide epidemic and nothing to joke about. Those suffering from chronic bitchiness do not realize how much of a bitch they are being, and so continue to be a bitch. While a total cure has still not been found, saying 'Bitch Please' could offer temporary relief. Also, a Bitch Slap to the face is extremely helpful. The other members of the households should eat only sandwiches that the bitch has made. Thank you for listening to this public service announcement.
skyeyez9 25
Did you know the term "mother in law" letters rearranged spells "Hateful **** of a woman who I wish would ******* die already."
anirbas2658 0
Man that sucks!!!!
MrsVicious 8
Mother in laws can be bitches.