Today, we found out why we were getting notes on our door telling us to "move out or else." As my mom works for the government and we have a direct-TV dish on our roof, our neighbor thinks we were sent to listen to his phone calls and read his mind. We were here before he was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got home from work to find an eviction notice taped to my door, stating that I was a nuisance and had 30 days to vacate the property. I live at home with my parents. FML
Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML
Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML
Today, I was singing while unloading my dishwasher. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it only to find the police telling me they received noise complaints from my neighbors. I live next-door to my parents. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML
Today, my mom realized that the "door" part in "screen door" doesn't block sound when she began to talk to our neighbours about how much of a failure I am. I heard everything. FML
Today, I found out that my mother has been telling several people that my fiancé and I will be moving into her house for the foreseeable future. All because we're moving to a city close by for jobs and are still searching for housing. I found this out from several of the people she told. FML
Today, I came home to a noise complaint letter taped to my apartment door. I haven't been home in over a month. FML
Today, my neighbor knocked on my door and left a note that said "Please stop singing in the shower. You're terrible, and everyone in the building can hear you." FML
Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML
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Top comments
ariannaimelda 7
He knows too much. Dispose of him quickly.
elboon 0
Crazy guy. Go along with it just for the hell of it. :P
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Comments (169)
honeysuckel 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
that son of a b**** lol JK, son of a spy!
Garyy_fml 11
Whats wrong with being the son of a bacon?
BaconDave 12
When you say "lol JK" what you said was pretty much pointless
tylersign 11
Read his mind? Seems kind of extreme doesn't it?
idontcare8l 3
should have stoped before " that son of a b**** lol JK, son of a spy! "
honeysuckel 0
alright, so my comment was lame, I'll admit that. no need to attack tho man.
Garyy_fml 11
I'm so sorry. Here, have some imaginary cookies.
honeysuckel 0
ouch. your sarcasm hurtss
WHOWASTHEPHONE 10
Anybody else think of Alias?
littlemissFYL 5
this FML is like the movie "Disturbia." your neighbor should only start worrying if they catch you butchering people.
zekecastro 0
new to FML, not to sound dumb but what does OP stand for?
BaconDave 12
Octagonal Pelvis
tylersign 11
Ominous Parade
juicedboi 7
Put a note on his door. "Do you know who I work for? And what will happen to you if I go missing. Best be on your best behavior. Also you know that thing you do in the loungeroom when you think nobody is watching. Stop."
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Obviously Plastered
xlord 27
dont be so mean just tell him. OP means oval penis
Garyy_fml 11
Listen 75, I'm going to be nice here and say the real meaning: Orange Platypus. I too struggled at first, but now you know!
chrstygrl06 10
Orgasmic Pedophile
BeautyMonster 17
OP = Original Poster.
OrgasmicBunnies 9
Optimus Prime
redbluegreen 41
It means "Google it".
dre_bro11 12
88 stop lying! The poor bloke comes here and asks politely for the real meaning and you have to lie to him... people these days. So rude!
LordGoober 13
OP = Oceanic Plagiogranites
MizzErikaHart 8
oily poison
cobaltjedi 13
old people
sandi315 0
Orgasmic Penis
dolphincheddar 10
ominous pelicans
scrapmetal58 9
I love touching my OP.
SarahMae2014 10
you soo should, it'd be funny to see what he did
urdirtyolduncle 15
Why is the real meaning of OP always thumbed down, heavily? OP = obese penis
OceanProtection 0
88: Wouldn't mind getting oily with you :P
OceanProtection 0
ewe. not 88... -_- 120. sigh
ohmygodthatsux 0
I'm favoring this for the OP convo
tjv3 10
tell him if he doesn't stop you will erase his mind with your portable d5-nebumind wand or you will cook him alive in his sleep with your hand held microwave laser gun
steveakafranxy 7
op=original poster (hey, someone has to be serious)
BShady96 0
^i will eat your babies
GreenMaze 0
creepy huh?
xlord 27
"read his mind".......... tell him to wear a tin foil hat
MagicGiraffe 12
I'm telling you the government is everywhere! *hides in bomb shelter in a corner hugging a box of giraffe-feed*
lovexbox 8
If the neighbor is really that paranoid chances are he is hiding something.
BeatlesObsessed 12
Post a note on his door saying, "Stop having phone sex, I'm tired of hearing it." Heck, if he's already paranoid, might as well have a little fun with it.
flamegrilled123 3
tell him to stop thinking of dirty things
22cute 17
make him a foil hat, that sould calm him down
PB4UGAME 8
Not at all, he is most likely suffering from paranoid schizophrenia. A genetic having nothing to do with guilt or hiding something.
CassidyxP 0
wow that's stupid.
Garyy_fml 11
Stupid is harsh. Some prefer the word "mentally challenged"
jhull11 0
Wow, thanks for that comment. You really contributed to this FML and my whole experience on FML. Just kidding. Please keep these comments to yourself. You're not helping anyone.
lightbulbman101 4
your stupid
BeautyMonster 17
you're** As in, you're welcome.
xlord 27
omg stop with the grammar nazis.... it's the Internet not a formal essay
StudMuffinette 17
112- amen!!
elboon 0
Crazy guy. Go along with it just for the hell of it. :P
BIEBERSLAYER 10
then op have people across the street watching like their house is area 51 or some shit.
ilovecookies83 0
Yeah I agree! It'll be fun to mind **** him!
OakChair 14
he won't believe you when you deny it anyway, so you may as well.
ariannaimelda 7
He knows too much. Dispose of him quickly.
OrgasmicDinosaur 7
haha lol
iBilal 0
bitch **** u
stepho14 0
xD
omgcookeys 15
Both the comment and your picture are hilarious! (Will there be buttsecks?-creepface-) LOL
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Pretty sure nobody on here is blind, 95
shadow455 2
If someone was blind they wouldn't be able to read your comment making it as equally unimportant as his and thus rendering your logic useless.
SmallTownCutie 0
Are any of our comments important or logical? No. That's the point of the website.
enonymous 9
Naturally he doesn't want you to see or hear his rocking to a strobe light naked.
rafsta 0
Should have slapped him
BaconDave 12
Did he take his pills yet?
Fruitmonster2 15
Which one? Because there is a suspicious red one. *eyes dart back and forth*
YummiGummi 0
wtf? creeper. run away fast.
Iamnotmyself 17
Tell him to cover his house in tinfoil, and that your a double agent.
caffeinated4 11
Futurama?
Iamnotmyself 17
-56 No, CIA, classified.