Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML
Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML
Today, I was trying to give my girlfriend an orgasm as she was lying on her back. I asked her, "How do you like that, baby?" She responded by asking where I bought my suspended ceiling and spotlights, as she thought they would look good in her flat. She apparently got bored instead of turned on. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis." FML
Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, I introduced this website to my boyfriend. We laughed at a guy who screamed his sister's name during sex. Guess what he thought would be funny to do when I was seconds from coming? FML
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Top comments
oathkeeper99 31
Hey, don't dish it out if you can't take it!
Liamj774 36
Look likes she ones step a head of you. I'm sure you didn't mean to rub her the wrong way, but it's a touchy subject
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Comments (104)
Liamj774 36
Look likes she ones step a head of you. I'm sure you didn't mean to rub her the wrong way, but it's a touchy subject
ExtremeEncounter 32
Send her a link showing that only a minority of women are able to ****** through penetration, or learn how to finger. You could also send her a link on how to stimulate the male prostate...
Wakachulak 22
This is great! You're communicating! Your relationship is awesome!
UH60 26
LOL OP's probably been 'rubbing her the wrong way' if she sent him articles.
yerawizardlizzy 27
25, I'm pretty sure that's why she sent the article explaining the ********.
incoherentrmblr 22
The solution is constant communication & 69...
ImZacko 15
Welp might wanna start reading then and you kinda deserved it I know you were joking but I don't think she is
SystemofaBlink41 27
You should *jokingly* send her an article on how to handle a break up, just to see where she takes it.
Welshite 40
At this rate, she would probably send him links about human decomposition.
mt631 18
No reason to break up, for all we know she was just playing along with the "joke", and OP started it anyway.
cryssycakesx3 23
"...*jokingly* send her an article...."
oathkeeper99 31
Hey, don't dish it out if you can't take it!
Kielnmsoftly 26
If only this post were about anal I could've made so many prison jokes.....
Jason89 16
would those jokes be based on your experience, #57?
MightyThoth 7
oooh I see what you did there.. becuz dishes are something we eat, like pussy
DenBriZel 31
#87 Idk about you but never eaten a dish in my life. That seems painful.
bearstyle22 11
dont dish it out if you can't take it.
aabbccddeeffmmll 6
So, you got -15 likes for you comment which is the same as 4 which got 210, I'm confused
feven 32
First person wins
williamcarter93 13
Well this might be good. Now you can communicate and learn to better pleasure each other
AlyssaDiannaa 20
YDI, when someone does something like that it's special and personal. You insulted her.
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
I think the girlfriend has a point. If someone sent that article to me I'd try not to be too offended since they're not saying "you give shit head", maybe you're just too repetitive or something similar. Good sex is fulfilled sex. But i'd likely also respond with an article about how to give better lick outs because there's always room for improvement. If they talk this out and take it as a learning experience theyll be fine.
cryssycakesx3 23
but maybe he prefers the techniques in the article or is curious to try them. if he doesn't like what she's doing, there's no harm in making suggestions. likewise, if she doesn't like what he does, she should tell him what what she likes instead of using it as revenge.
ninety 25
That's fine if he wants to try something or prefers those techniques. But if he were serious he should talk about it IN PERSON instead of passive aggressively sending article links.
garrett_8614 14
I think it depends on the situation and the people involved. I joke with my girlfriend all the time about stuff like this, and she jokes right back at me. No need for either of them to get offended IMO, but then again, everyone is different.
little_one 20
Wow you make giving head almost sound romantic...
meggieeeee92 27
I feel like if you and your girlfriend are at a point where you're having sex, you should know her better and know that she would be upset by this. You both need to talk to each other.
RebeccaRFT 18
You do realize some people even have sex one month into the relationship. Sex means almost nothing to a lot of people now a days.
rocker_chick105 31
If it doesn't mean anything then usually those relationships fall apart. My sister had a fast relationship like that and she's married to the man now and has a kid. Sometimes that's how relationships go. While I will say that there's a big hook up culture right now, when you find the one you want to be with, sex with them is totally different than with anyone else.
devildog562 33
A month ?! It's the 3 hour rule. Really though, sadly the 3 date rule is all so true around where I live . It's a sad that a lot of people I know sleep around with people they just meet like having a casual drink. Op if you are going to tell a women she gives horrible head instead of doing it in a sensitive way, then you will be getting very little from her. Oh and you may want to talk to her about how to blow her world , it'll do you worlds of good .
askullnamedbilly 33
Why is it sad, #44? There's nothing inherently wrong with having casual sex, as long as both partners consent wholeheartedly and take care to avoid STIs. Not everything has to be serious and involve romantic feelings, sometimes it's fun to be spontaneous and enjoy being intimate with someone you don't know that well.
KrustyKrab 18
So you're fine with sending her the link but not receiving one back? Why send it if you don't like how it feels either?
ThePez828 18
I think it's more than him not liking getting sent a link back...it sounds like he doesn't know what he's doing and he found out in a bad way.
yerawizardlizzy 27
37, Don't you think that's how the girlfriend interpreted the first message?
MrConcise 35
Retaliate with an article about how to communicate better. Yeah, that won't be an instant loss!