Today, we found out why we were getting notes on our door telling us to "move out or else." As my mom works for the government and we have a direct-TV dish on our roof, our neighbor thinks we were sent to listen to his phone calls and read his mind. We were here before he was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got home from work to find an eviction notice taped to my door, stating that I was a nuisance and had 30 days to vacate the property. I live at home with my parents. FML
Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML
Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML
Today, I was singing while unloading my dishwasher. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it only to find the police telling me they received noise complaints from my neighbors. I live next-door to my parents. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML
Today, my mom realized that the "door" part in "screen door" doesn't block sound when she began to talk to our neighbours about how much of a failure I am. I heard everything. FML
Today, I found out that my mother has been telling several people that my fiancé and I will be moving into her house for the foreseeable future. All because we're moving to a city close by for jobs and are still searching for housing. I found this out from several of the people she told. FML
Today, I came home to a noise complaint letter taped to my apartment door. I haven't been home in over a month. FML
Today, my neighbor knocked on my door and left a note that said "Please stop singing in the shower. You're terrible, and everyone in the building can hear you." FML
Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML
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Top comments
ariannaimelda 7
He knows too much. Dispose of him quickly.
elboon 0
Crazy guy. Go along with it just for the hell of it. :P
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Comments (169)
IndigoFuckYou 9
Oh shit, the government has been following him all along, watching his every move...they anticipated this. No where is safe. O.O
foilindo 0
Hahahahahaha. is he paranoid or what?! and ignorant too. :-/
MsSoulReaper 27
Why are people so paranoid? They must have a guilty conscience.
PB4UGAME 8
Or, you know, the genetic disorder of paranoid schizophrenia, which is characterized exactly as this neighbor is described.
dudeitsdanny 10
That's when you start talking to him with a Russian accent, since paranoid people usually think it's a foreign spy.. And Russian spies never get old ;] You can also start asking strange questions that might make him think it's true. See who moves out first =D
SmallTownCutie 0
I hope they make that into a movie someday.
SmallTownCutie 0
Or a game show.
raider27 7
Haha reminds me of the paranoid time travel guy from Rob & Big
mrahhhhh 21
Do you live near Dale Gribble?
OrgasmicDinosaur 7
nice
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Sounds like a tweaker to me. You probably should keep an eye on him, mostly for the safety of your family. Tweakers are notoriously unpredictable, and therefore untrustworthy.
geeksaresexy 18
I don't know why they don't go to the police.. The neighbour is harassing them and if he is a tweaker they could probably get him arrested..
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Probable cause and the amount of time it takes for a judge to sign a search warrant that isn't considered "at risk" tends to be more of an obstacle. Most judges won't even sign a warrant unless they've had hours to deliberate on a specific suspect with a copious amount of "evidence". The United States legal system is ******, basically.
Mirorbo 27
I believe there's a fine line between paranoia and insanity. Your neighbor seems to be sitting upon that line.
geeksaresexy 18
I would say he's very firmly on the insane side tbh..
hotchicklover 0
yeah jus kidnap him and anal probe him that the aliens can track and take him when ever. or jus shoot hom
sheethapins 13
Is that what happened to you?
hwp123 0
ask him about 2012 I'll bet he will freak!