Today, we found out why we were getting notes on our door telling us to "move out or else." As my mom works for the government and we have a direct-TV dish on our roof, our neighbor thinks we were sent to listen to his phone calls and read his mind. We were here before he was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I got home from work to find an eviction notice taped to my door, stating that I was a nuisance and had 30 days to vacate the property. I live at home with my parents. FML
Leave me alone
Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML
Sort yourselves out
Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML
Today, I was singing while unloading my dishwasher. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it only to find the police telling me they received noise complaints from my neighbors. I live next-door to my parents. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML
Today, my mom realized that the "door" part in "screen door" doesn't block sound when she began to talk to our neighbours about how much of a failure I am. I heard everything. FML
Home to roost
Today, I found out that my mother has been telling several people that my fiancé and I will be moving into her house for the foreseeable future. All because we're moving to a city close by for jobs and are still searching for housing. I found this out from several of the people she told. FML
Today, I came home to a noise complaint letter taped to my apartment door. I haven't been home in over a month. FML
Today, my neighbor knocked on my door and left a note that said "Please stop singing in the shower. You're terrible, and everyone in the building can hear you." FML
Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML
Top comments
ariannaimelda 7
He knows too much. Dispose of him quickly.
elboon 0
Crazy guy. Go along with it just for the hell of it. :P
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Comments (169)
Mekeritrig 15
Tell him he's not important.
BaconDave 12
I think you meant "DirecTV"
Schnyduh 4
some people are so stupid lol
FloridaStateChic 0
That's totally normal.
sheethapins 13
Invest in binoculars, cigars, camo, and dark shades. Put a note on his door asking, "where are they?" Hide behind some bushes and wait. This may turn out to be the best summer ever.
Anglwrfish 17
Yes, that might be funny for the five minutes it takes the guy to panic and get his gun.
mynameis1339 0
Well play along and say that if you keep blackmailing us we will send you to Guantanamo bay.
sheethapins 13
There he can enjoy a **** meat sandwich.
ThreeSheetsGone 12
I would build up to GTMO. Threaten little stuff for a while.
saraheve1188 5
Make a bunch of annoying Dish telemarketers call him up.
kennedyboopants 1
maybe he's the spy? hm..,
NomadicFlo 4
mmmmmmmm
knocking 0
Maybe the government should be watching him. He might be paranoid for a reason. Maybe he has a collection of human spleens in his freezer. Maybe he is trying to genetically engineer super-duper cockroaches, and he is going to train them to take over the world! Or maybe he's yet another crazy person that needs to be locked in a nice padded room far away from society. You better get your mom to investigate this further OP.
iBrandon 0
y'all have been compromised! You have 48 hours to get the job done...