Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML
Today, after I grounded my barely 18 year-old daughter for having sex with her boyfriend when I found a pack of condoms in her room while cleaning it, she responded by moving out and eloping with him. FML
Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
Today, my parents found my box of condoms. I'm 20, so it's no big deal, and they commended my responsibility. What they don't know is I don't talk to any girls, and I bought those condoms to jerk off into. FML
Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML
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Top comments
parism143 28
Guess you''ve got nothing to worry about! :) Your daughter sounds awesome.
stretchedthin 20
um why didn't you talk to her instead?
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Comments (210)
darek96 8
Let me guess. You're American right?
King_George_III 4
Well, it does say"United States" so I would assume so...
TheHarvardian 25
This is hilarious. Your daughter sounds awesome, OP. I'd say you're good....nothing to worry about.
Crusoe_fml 4
My mom tried to do the same thing with me I turned them into a balloon poodle and used the rest as water balloons and went back to playing games o my ps3 XD
grghillis96 15
She is my kind of girl
xemnas1997 5
I now have a crush on your daughter. (I'm 17 btw so I'm not a pedo or anything)
Mailman2121 15
#245 That's what all pedos say.
MindlessHippo08 6
I don't see how this is a FML
AlliexXxkat 6
I dont see how any of you can possibly put a YDI vote. Clearly OP is trying to be proactive and parent her child the correct way. You can't hide sex from them, its a part of life. Not only that, how happy would you be if you're daughter came home pregnant or with a STD because of you neglecting to help them with birth control if and when they need it.
zinnath 9
She probably didn't need them. *hint hint*
LoopyLuuLuu 7
Most parents I've known would likely be rather happy with the daughter's response and what it suggests.
CheckYesMyLove 6
At least she isn't interested in sex, and tbh being a responsible parent would be to talk to her and no just buying her condoms.