Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my brother had his hot friend over. I decided to make a move because he was staring at me and smiling all night, so I asked him which holiday was his favorite, Christmas or Easter while I batted my eyes and smiled. That's when he said, "You have lettuce in your teeth." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's brother. When he saw me, he whispered into my boyfriend's ear, "So, this is your bitch eh? Nice!" FML
Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML
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Top comments
Cairo_Sanchez 8
That's just TOO desperate...
theunwiseone 4
DA *****???? O.o
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Comments (374)
DjeePee 25
It must be a nice feeling to know that you probably gave him a boner along with that hickey.
OuiOui907_fml 1
Why approve the achievements of some illusory apparatchiks who stubbornly refuse to submit to the orders of former presidential bankers to constantly revisit the same topics?
yaya1213 6
Could've used a vacuum
keidus324 6
Uhm. Ew?
jeansltp 7
that's an interesting topic for the family dinner table
littlebluepill 1
OMFG!!!! That is utterly REVOLTING!!!!!
pucki86 1
Next time, pay one of your girl friends 10 euros to do it, and keep the extra 40 euros for yourself!
OffToTheGayBar 9
Isn't that pimping? And isn't that illegal, like, everywhere?
pucki86 1
Isn't incest illegal, like, everywhere? :D
OuiOui907_fml 1
So absolutely random and subjective, we take to heart issues unaffordable and confusing to a fault, notwithstanding the illegality of certain processes. Thus incest, like pedophilia, is still taboo in many societies. That does not mean a crime in the sense that Philip Poutou eminently gear gives this term.
syki 22
Actually, up until 2010, it wasn't illegal in France. It was abolished as "overly-religious" circa the French revolution, and, well, they never got around to changing it. The French presidents between then and now must've had hot sisters...
brittanyyjay 0
you never even thought for a second, "this is not okay"?
eyecon502 13
Were banjo's playing...because that would have been awesome!
williamcarter93 13
Your poor damn desperate brother.