Today, the unhealthiest person I know, weighing in at around 350 pounds told me she was now a vegan. I then told her the Cheese-Itz, as well as the leather boots she was wearing wasn't vegan. She said I was wrong. I'm a nutritionist. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, despite feeling healthier than ever, losing fat, gaining muscle and having perfect blood results, my morbidly obese relatives keep telling me that my new vegan diet is "unhealthy". FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, I had a friend tell me all about how being a vegan was so great. They were eating eggs. FML
Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML
Today, an old man started telling me about the high price of meat. I told him I wouldn't know, since I'm a vegetarian. His reply was, "Oh, most vegetarians are slimmer." FML
Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML
Today, my boss was hosting some client representatives for a meeting and had offered to buy everyone lunch. The "healthy" place he's ordering from made me sick last time, so I'd politely opted out. At lunch, the reps glared at me in the meeting room as I ate my homemade chili con carne. Turns out they're all vegans. FML
Today, I realized I've become a stereotypical militant vegan when I told a friend that we should start raising Lone Star ticks and dropping them around town so we could spread meat allergies and force people to eat vegan. FML
Today, my sister called me a moron after I told her that no, healthy foods do not give you "negative calories". She's 21 and goes around telling everyone that she's an expert nutritionist. FML
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Top comments
Magnoxidans 19
She probably doesn't want to be vegan, rather be able to tell people she's vegan. Let her live in her own fantasy world she's not hurting anyone but herself...
Viewerv 2
I know most vegans refrain from using leather because they are vegan for animal rights reasons. But if the person went vegan for health reasons, the boots wouldn't matter. I mean, presumably she doesn't eat her boots.
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Comments (29)
lemonlime66 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
What does weight have to do with deciding to be a vegan? As a "nutritionist" aren't you supposed to educate, not humiliate? You didn't even put FML! FML for having to read your shitty post
talaswolf 20
They did write FML.
talaswolf 20
They did write FML.
unsealingkale 18
If "Your leather boots/cheez-its aren't vegan" is humiliation, then what would you call "education?" FML for having to read your shitty comment.
lemonlime66 21
I wasn't talking about humiliating by correcting, I was talking about humiliating by fat shaming someone trying to better themselves. At the time I commented, this was in 'almost fmls' and it most certainly did not say FML. It was also edited in wording and grammer when it got to this section.
lemonlime66 21
I was not referring to the correcting, I was referring to the fat-shaming. There was no need to point out that she weighs 350 pounds to make the post, that was just mean for no reason. Also, when I originally commented, this was in 'almost fmls' and there most certainly was not an 'FML' at the end, but obviously that has since been changed.
shannon.elizabeth 13
shouldn't be a fat **** then, cause obviously eating cheese its is not "trying to better yourself"
yes31601 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for being right It's a joke, calm down before you downvote this
Magnoxidans 19
Wasn't going to downvote until you told me not to
Bman54 19
Still not a good joke
Magnoxidans 19
She probably doesn't want to be vegan, rather be able to tell people she's vegan. Let her live in her own fantasy world she's not hurting anyone but herself...
Jumbled_Mess 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Magnoxidans - Vegans don't use animals, period. If you think the only one suffering from her fake veganism is herself, then you are forgetting the cattle on her feet and the calves who's milk she's consuming. Not to mention us real vegans that have to put up with questions such as: "But you do eat fish, right?"
Magnoxidans 19
I was talking about how she's 350lbs and eating unhealthy food.
Magnoxidans 19
I was talking about how she weighs 350lbs, announced she was vegan (assumably based on the mentioning of her weight she announced if for health reasons) and yet proceeded to eat unhealthy food. Also, self-righteous troll vegans like you ruin the vegan cause. Instead of taking in alternate points, you alienate everyone with your 'holier than thou' attitude. Really want to promote veganism? Healthy discussion in appropriate settings. Not FML. Case in point I have a salad here at work but instead I'm not going to go to the food hall and get a chicken, beef and pork burrito. All in YOUR honor. Not even hungry. You're welcome.
LyricaSilvan 30
That's not much worse than the rest of us having to deal with the pretentious members of your peer group, who try to verbally harass people into becoming vegan or scream obscenities at us if we say we don't want to. It's kind of a two-way street, buddy. Side note, in case of conclusion-jumpers: No, I am not implying all vegans are like this. I've met many who are chill. They may not LIKE that some of their friends are not vegan, but they don't act like jerks about it. Those ones are fine. I'm cool with people doing whatever makes them happy, so long as they aren't dicks about it.
Viewerv 2
I know most vegans refrain from using leather because they are vegan for animal rights reasons. But if the person went vegan for health reasons, the boots wouldn't matter. I mean, presumably she doesn't eat her boots.
Jumbled_Mess 7
"People who are "vegan" for dietary reasons are not vegan, but they might be vegitarian."
Steephx0 23
Or maybe she purchases the boots pre-vegan & decided to continue wearing them? Throwing them away wouldn't bring back the animal's life, she may as well get use out of them.
zunair74 16
I doubt there was that much of a thought process behind it
Nats4444 11
Sounds like she meant vegetarian. And when are we going to stop fat-shaming people?!
species4872 20
That's half the fun.
spectrumc 3
that's not fat shaming, the person in question is kept anonymous and op is only stating facts
MWCMWC 2
It was tho because how much the person weighed had nothing to do with leather boots and cheeze its and not being able to understand veganism
Jo_kat 5
How I read this: "This gal told me she's a vegan while eating cheese and wearing leather. Oh and BTW - she's super fat."
tygerarmy 35
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Leather boots have nothing to do with being Vegan, not eating animals or products made from animals does. I know people who have lost over 100lbs switching to a Vegan diet. As a good nutritionist, maybe you could have helped her by explaining Cheese-Itz have dairy and are not Vegan instead of insulting her.
Arashikage 18
If vegans don't eat any animal or animal byproduct what makes you think they'd be ok with wearing animal skin???
ShotaSammy 17
Probably because there is a difference between going vegan to lose weight and going vegan because animals are adorable and eating them isnt nice.
sweetpotato301 7
Vegan: "A person who does not eat or use animal products". If you wear leather, you are not a vegan.
tygerarmy 35
You can be a Vegan for health reasons and not morality reasons. Most people do both, but not everyone. While I have friends who are Vegan who won't use products made with animals, I also have several who don't care. They were overweight and wanted to be healthier. Magician Penn Jillette is a good famous example of this. He read "Eat to live" went on a Vegan diet, lost over 100lbs, and will still use products made from animals.
zunair74 16
isn't that a vegetarian than
Steve115s 7
Let her keeping thinking she is vegan until someone else calls her out on her shit.
anyoldnamewilldo 23
LOL...My bf's mom claims to be as well, but apparently that doesn't apply to store bought cake. -_-
shadowl 11
Being a nutritionist is meaningless: it's an unprotected term. Anyone can call themselves a nutritionist, so no place for you to call her out on not being a vegan. The protected term is dietician by the way.
sweetpotato301 7
You don't have to be a dietitian to know what a vegan is. Besides, it's not like he just randomly went up to her and started talking about her lifestyle. She told him that she's vegan and he pointed out her mistake.
ragnarok1540 39
The OP's profession is irrelevant ... the fact is the person being described is neither a vegan nor does she practice a vegan diet. That is a simple fact and does not require a registered dietician to be able to call her out on his misinformation.