Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayn Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML
Today, I tried to drown out the petulant whining of my idiot coworker as he droned on and on about how, “bitches don’t appreciate good men.” He’s 35, lives at home, still uses the term 'friendzone' and has the hygiene of a sewer-dwelling ogre. I was written up for for snapping and yelling at him. FML
Today, a patient, who is normally pretty chill, was being quite difficult for my workmates. They were whinging about him and I defended him, he's normally a sweet guy so something must be upsetting him. I went to chat with him, he punched me and called a useless a**hole. FML
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I'm thinking of quitting the awesome job I love with coworkers I adore, because I keep fucking up every part of my job, making them pick up the pieces and correct my failures. They don't deserve this. FML
Today, like every day, my coworker showed up thirty minutes late, sat down for thirty more checking email while I got the morning work done alone, listening to her bitch about how much she hates her job and wants to go home. My coworkers criticized me for being moody, and praised her for being the best. FML
Today, while finishing up at work, I started helping a co-worker out with his workload since I'd finished mine. His girlfriend apparently didn't like this and started slamming things around, constantly muttering passive aggressive comments because she wanted to help him. I work with idiots. FML
Today, I found myself cussing out the next dipshit fucked in the head enough to open its bitch mouth and mumble to itself about how I was the newest main stressor of it’s bitch-fit of a day. Taking into account the pathetic aspect of “rubbing it in” I then proceeded to cuss out the next person who got in my way. FML
Today, my coworker told me when we got to work that she purposely left her phone at home. I then had to suffer 8 hours of listening to her constantly whine like a toddler about how much she missed her phone. FML
Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friendzone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
It's scary that there are workforce-aged people thinking like your coworkers 0.o
quesok 22
One Direction=Wrong Direction We all feel your pain
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Comments (270)
countryb_cth 38
OP there is just something about you that I like.
BlondePsycho 43
No jury would convict you
quesok 22
One Direction=Wrong Direction We all feel your pain
Kaylynn_Michele7 12
Speak for yourself.
Kaylynn_Michele7 12
Speak for yourself.
myoukei 31
One gone. Now how to get rid of direction?
_ItsJustMeh_ 10
All because you don't like it doesn't mean you have to bash it!
live2loveurself 11
That's what I always say!!
Florentina 17
That is some extreme 1D-fan focused anger...
bayankataf 9
*zayn
Kaylynn_Michele7 12
Trueeee
alexaramayo 6
Do you think anybody gives a shit?
_ItsJustMeh_ 10
Umm let me think... YES!
JMichael 26
The Spongebob *nobody cares* meme would be a great response for this.
AllSoul 23
No #135, the correct answer is no.
abbyade 21
Even if they are talking about Barbie dolls, you shouldn't feel so strongly to break and throw their remains. If you don't wanna listen to it, find something to do..listen to music? Excuse yourself?
kuro21 20
I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to listen to music during work. Depending on your job of course.
quarterbird 18
I'm fairly certain that it was an exaggeration meant to express the OP's high level of annoyance.
LeashaJoy5595 28
That's nauseating. They say silence is golden, but if that doesn't work, duct tape is silver.
ArturoRamirez 16
That's clever.
wakemeupplease 21
He just wanna try a new direction :p
FluffyPandas156 13
His life is going in a new direction.
cassidymg 17
Zayn* leaving is a tragedy
Hiimhaileypotter 53
No, someone dying or getting in a horrible accident would be a tragedy.
AllSoul 23
There was a plane crash a couple of days ago, killing over 140 people, and if true, that's including a class of teenagers coming back from a school trip. All dead, because one guy wanted to kill himself. That's a tragedy my dear, not some boy leaving a boy band.
bryce0110 23
It's sad more people are crying and complaining like bitches about a stupid boy band, and not many people care about this German plane crash that killed atleast 140 people, because a stupid boy band is soo much more important. Imo, some people need to learn priorities, because a boy band sure ain't one.
DickMcSwag 17
I agree. My sister and cousin also have the feels and I believe that this is nothing to cry about. Some one dying or getting sick is something to cry about not some stupid boy band