Today, there are people working in my bathroom. I have the shits. The only place I could think to go was in my cats litter box. I've used it twice and am now contemplating using it a third time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it wouldn't go down the pipes. After about ten panic-filled minutes, I noticed the cat litter box. I carefully scooped out my logs, and buried them in the cat litter. FML
Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML
Today, after my landlord has refused to fix the bathroom plumbing problem in my apartment for several days, I had to buy cat litter for myself. FML
Today, I had to pee in the kitchen sink because my bathroom is being completely revamped, and the only other toilet in the house is my parents'. They refuse to let anyone use it. FML
Today, someone shat liquid poo in the hallway at work. Right. Outside. The bathroom. Another foot and they could have used a toilet instead of the carpeted floor. FML
Today, both toilets in my house were occupied, so I had to shit outside. FML
Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I was told to put away the new toilet paper rolls. I reached in the package only for my hand to get wet, and then noticed the yellow liquid at the bottom. My cat used it as a litter box. At least, I hope it was my cat. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
All I can think is: Your cat is going to kill you.
MortenM 17
It's a tough one to ask for though. I wouldn't be very comfortable asking my neighbours whether I could punish their toilet - repeatedly
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Comments (100)
PenguinBitch 44
First your boss, then your date, and now you're risking your cat leaving you? 3rd times not the charm.
anmolm97 12
OP's life is down in the dumps!!
waroftheroses 16
#12 Was refering to the previous fmls posted. Where the boss fired the OP for taking 10min toilet breaks. Then when OP left the restaurant while on a date because the date when to the bathroom for 20mins and 10mins after OP left their date called asking where they were. I found it pretty funny to be honest. Very clever #12 :)
cakelol 9
Good job actually. I don't think I would have thought of that.
Rainhawk94 27
I would've taken a shit on the birds, always taking their shit on your car.....
leeloo900 9
The ****? Lol
Rainhawk94 27
I made a bad reference to the family guy episode where Peter poops on a pigeons car as revenge for the pigeon pooing on Peter's car
QueenofWheels 13
I guess people don't like family guy.
vipirius 18
Well your car certainly won't be pleased.
thevelociraptor 31
When did cars have anything to do with this FML?
Vedarshi 11
I think he meant cat. Autocorrect must've screwed up.
QueenofWheels 13
It's a typo. duh
trp2wondrland 9
Sometimes it's best to just head to the nearest gas station.
suri23 11
And this is why gas station restrooms are so foul.
upallnight11 19
Should've just taken a dump on your toilet while making eye contact with them, like a boss.
Journiexo 18
I can so picture this...O.O
JJ_86 22
Then it would have been the workers who would have had got the FML published.
Liiiiiiiiike 15
That's what happens when you eat Taco Bell
Journiexo 18
What if they walked by...
Wizardo 34
-Camping and outdoors store -Sells portable and sometimes disposable toilets -Problem solved
SomeDumbass 17
I feel bad for your cat. You'll probably have to buy her a new litter box.