Today, there are people working in my bathroom. I have the shits. The only place I could think to go was in my cats litter box. I've used it twice and am now contemplating using it a third time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it wouldn't go down the pipes. After about ten panic-filled minutes, I noticed the cat litter box. I carefully scooped out my logs, and buried them in the cat litter. FML
Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML
Today, after my landlord has refused to fix the bathroom plumbing problem in my apartment for several days, I had to buy cat litter for myself. FML
Today, I had to pee in the kitchen sink because my bathroom is being completely revamped, and the only other toilet in the house is my parents'. They refuse to let anyone use it. FML
Today, someone shat liquid poo in the hallway at work. Right. Outside. The bathroom. Another foot and they could have used a toilet instead of the carpeted floor. FML
Today, both toilets in my house were occupied, so I had to shit outside. FML
Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I was told to put away the new toilet paper rolls. I reached in the package only for my hand to get wet, and then noticed the yellow liquid at the bottom. My cat used it as a litter box. At least, I hope it was my cat. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
All I can think is: Your cat is going to kill you.
MortenM 17
It's a tough one to ask for though. I wouldn't be very comfortable asking my neighbours whether I could punish their toilet - repeatedly
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Comments (100)
buckdharma 38
I see no problem with this as long as you use it correctly. First begin scraping violently until at least 10 lbs. of litter is scattered everywhere behind you. Next deposit turd on now bare bottom of litter box, being careful to cover it with remaining litter until it looks like a chocolate covered banana dipped in nuts, minus the stick.
gracehi 33
Ha ha! Yep. My cats tell me that is definitely the right way to do it. XD
QueenofWheels 13
One of many reasons I hate cats
False_Stupidity 42
Congratulations! You just succeeded in turning me off chocolate covered bananas dipped in nuts. I'll probably lose a few kilos now
worldclassrager 41
Do you only have one bathroom?
gracehi 33
No, OP has two bathrooms. But moaning Myrtle lives in the second one, and OP can't stand her.
Mysterious_one 26
no.. he have 3 bathrooms.. but he wana just do it in litter box.. just so he can post a FML .. duh..
QueenofWheels 13
It is very odd that they only have one. Which makes me wonder if their place is that small how the workers didn't see them.
wondercat40 28
Why don't you spend the day with a friend?
heyithinkyourhot 12
Hahaha. Omg.
Mysterious_one 26
holy shit
slyde32 12
nope, she'd have to do it in a church for that, this is just regular shit
leeloo900 9
Someone told me to say this, "You've cat to be kitten me."
LittleRanz 4
Lucky you had a cat litter box.
bravesgirl55 11
Damn! That's desperation!
AloysiusWeasley 15
One of my favorite FML's was one bimbo who tried the same and got attacked by her boyfriend's cat. I hope you at least managed to clean up your disgusting shit from your poor, innocent cat's litter box. Good lord, use a gallon ziplock or a bucket or something.
allplayedout 20
Nah OP probably just left her river of diarrhea in the box to enhance her home atmosphere. Moreover, a litter box is the same concept as a bucket but filled with moisture-absorbing litter specifically for piss and shit. Also, how much success have you had ******** violently into a ziploc bag?
HotShot313 15
how many ***** do you normally take in a day?
False_Stupidity 42
OP has the *****, as in diarrhea.