Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML
Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home and said he'd been fired from his minimum wage cashier job. He added that since I make enough to cover the bills, he wants to take a break from "working and shit." I stared at him, mouth agape, and he thought I was offering him a blowjob. FML
Today, I saw my ex asking for change outside a store. I was so shocked and sad to see him in such a position, I offered to take him home with me, let him shower and cook him a good meal. He laughed in my face and said, "Nah, I just do this for some quick bucks. It’s easier than working." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that my mom paid him to date me. FML
Today, trying to pocket a little extra cash for himself, my dad responded to multiple babysitting ads on Craigslist, accepting them all on my behalf. I despise children with all my heart. FML
Today, I tutored a kid for two hours, for $25 an hour. When it came time for them to pay, my mother told the kid's parents that they could give me ten bucks for the whole thing. She does this a lot. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
Today, I found out that when my room-mate agreed to babysit someone's two year old kid for money, what he really planned on doing was dumping it with me. The kid won't stop crying and screaming. FML
Today, after presenting my husband with a more than fair request to pay me an hourly wage for being a stay-at-home mom, he laughed his ass off and told me if I want money so badly, I could get a job. He'd rather strangers in daycare raise our babies than pay me what I'm worth. FML
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Top comments
Alihb 16
Assuming you declined, did he offer to pay you in Trident Layers after?
NoMore_CoolNames 14
Leave in the most amusing way possible.
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Comments (117)
AHappyGoth 14
Saw a porno like this once.
deepunder 17
Did you make your FML account right after?
Cupcake040 17
I don't know if I'd believe this guy, clearly he had enough money to go out so that a babysitter was required. Maybe depending on how much it actually was I would develop some kind of 'payment plan' where he can pay $20 here and $20 there. I don't think suing him over babysitting money is very realistic though.
horneyhic 15
He might have been working
simplysarcastics 26
Wow he could have just said he can pay you at a later time, yet he offered up his body to you haha. Very amusing. Fyl and i hope you get your money and not booty!
jw90 18
Why does that sound like the beginning to a porno?
mattrd_fml 31
so, did you get "paid?"
kpc2424 13
I wonder if this story would have ended differently had a guy been babysitting and the mom came home and offered the same deal????
firechicky 12
I don't think it would have wound up on fml if the genders were reversed.
kpc2424 13
I couldn't agree more
Ins0mau 20
What if she had been an ugly old lady??
DJ_Lyons 15
Today, the woman whose son I babysat for six hours confessed to being broke and actually asked if she.could pay me in sex. She looked like Rosie O'Donnell and smelled like a.toilet. FML.
DJisHere11 19
#40 now that's the beginning to a porno. "Milf pays back the babysitter."
FrankHotpants 31
This only works if you're a hot chick who doesn't have enough to pay for the pizza.
theworldisflat 8
Wow that's low
OnlyTheDarkest 17
Let's hope he was at least hot!
samaraperez 7
wow some guys these days