Today, I found out that when my room-mate agreed to babysit someone's two year old kid for money, what he really planned on doing was dumping it with me. The kid won't stop crying and screaming. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML
Today, I found out that while my mother-in-law claimed to be babysitting my son, she was actually dropping him off at an unlicensed “day care” in a shady part of town so she could go out. How did I find out? The house was raided by police. FML
Today, instead of going to a romantic dinner with my boyfriend like I'd planned, I ended up babysitting his queasy little sister. FML
Today, I found out my babysitter has been selling the breastmilk I produce for my baby and replacing it with formula, while still taking my money every week. FML
Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML
Today, I was babysitting. Being kind, I went to grab their mail, while their 4 year old ate lunch. He locked me out, wrecked the house, and let me in right when he saw their car two hours later. I didn't get paid. I paid them. FML
Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
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Top comments
Cairo_Sanchez 8
video tape you taking care of the kid and claim the money
TalkinSmack 6
drop the kid off at the police station. ur roommate won't do that again.
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Comments (146)
xPsYcHO_KILLa_x 0
Pffft that really sucks
volley4eva1698 0
he should pretend to lose the baby and have the friend get in trouble
MrSassypants 34
13 or when the roomate comes in: OP-"Remember what you did to me? Do that to my roomate." Baby-"goo goo gah gah!" *Roomate walks in* Roomate-"hi guys!" OP-"FIRE!!" *rips off baby's diaper* *Baby pises on him* Baby-"Oh O!"
imacreeper 3
you should set him up with an ugly girl friend of yours and tell him how beautiful she really is, then when he finally meets her lock them in the dorm for the same amount of time he left you with the baby ;p
MrSassypants 34
25 wow. Hurt the girl's feelings why don't you?
shannonreneee 11
Be assertive, call the parents and say it's not your responsibility to look after the baby! Just because your roommate left doesn't mean you have to look after the kid!
imacreeper 3
24, you'd laugh if it was in a movie :P
daysgoby902 6
why are you watching the kid if you're not getting paid for it? you don't have to do anything you didn't agree to it. tell him to watch the kid.
Metal_Chick 15
Locate your friend, dump the baby back at him and drive off as fast as you can.
ColdplaySucks 18
Give the child a scale portion of benedryl tablet and you're child will be sleeping in no time.
ImABYtCH 0
How do you add a picture....?
iTaylor 0
Just sit the kid down in front of Spongebob :D
pickles1994 18
i hope you know where the diapers are xD
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
Kill it and blame your roomate
morganxangela 0
81-go to your account and when that comes up just press the thing that says "change picture"
Boondie 7
Wtf?
Cairo_Sanchez 8
video tape you taking care of the kid and claim the money
MrSassypants 34
Video taping a kid. Just saying it sound weird. Mom-"What you do at your new home?" OP-"Video taped a kid for money."
Osito2011 9
I agree but op just say you babysat the kid and call out your roommate...make sure you get the money op
daisyloo 7
Good idea! You should at least get the money for doing your "friend's" job!!
emmkaycee 0
Or just use chloroform. Works every time.
RacerX1695 1
OMG 66, I love you! That's just great.
fatalblue06 0
chloroform... sounds like Casey Anthony case all over again..
emmkaycee 0
You don't kill the kid, just sedate them. There's a difference.
pickles1994 18
40 when did OP ever mentioned that his/her room-mate is his/her friend...?
ban_anaa 0
Your friend is a dick! Revenge!!
jajajapun 5
Who says they're friends?
daisyloo 7
Touché.
ban_anaa 0
Who says they're not?
princessbits 17
Am I the only one who thumbed up this comment because the OP has a Katy Perry icon?
honey_bee_fml 1
I agree. I'm sure the parents left a phone number-- the room-mate should have either given it to you or left it in a place readily accessible. Just give them a call telling them that your room-mate went out, leaving the child behind. You are not able to watch this child, and they will have to come pick him/her up. That's the best way to get back at your room-mate, really. That or give the child a marker and send him/her to your room-mate's room. It's amazing how much damage a two-year-old with a marker can do.
JesusFishTaco 5
Katy Perry be sexy.
Nico_Belic 0
Get a cut of what they're making.
superfluousfrog 6
only a cut? They did the work, they should get all of it?
ceddyz17 10
I hope your getting paid
SophisticatedJel 0
steal the money from him when he gets it
carolv22 0
yeah you better make sure you get that money!
DoubleRainbows 1
looks like a job for COUGH SYRUP
NuTrees 9
you know the deal
emmkaycee 0
Nah, chloroform. Works every time.
MissBunnyWillEat 11
"I just gave him some nyquil, he should be asleep in a few"
xcarxcrashx 9
that's beat as hell. at some point he has to come home to collect it. wouldn't it be funny if you weren't there. just take the kid for a walk around the block and wait for your roommate to panic.
synonymous 1
Brilliant!
calenzelon 6
perfect plan
aimdya 5
Seriously you should do that, I would. It might calm down the kid or any colorful cartoon works. benedryl does too.
cabbitt 0
The only drawback I can see is a potential kidnapping accusation.
Cryingraven 1
you just got "Voluntold"! :)
CaliSwaggGirl 0
hahaha
bigmanj28 0
Take the pay