Today, the guy whose son I babysat for six hours straight confessed to being broke, then actually asked if he could pay me with sex instead. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML
Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home and said he'd been fired from his minimum wage cashier job. He added that since I make enough to cover the bills, he wants to take a break from "working and shit." I stared at him, mouth agape, and he thought I was offering him a blowjob. FML
Today, I saw my ex asking for change outside a store. I was so shocked and sad to see him in such a position, I offered to take him home with me, let him shower and cook him a good meal. He laughed in my face and said, "Nah, I just do this for some quick bucks. It’s easier than working." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that my mom paid him to date me. FML
Today, trying to pocket a little extra cash for himself, my dad responded to multiple babysitting ads on Craigslist, accepting them all on my behalf. I despise children with all my heart. FML
Today, I tutored a kid for two hours, for $25 an hour. When it came time for them to pay, my mother told the kid's parents that they could give me ten bucks for the whole thing. She does this a lot. FML
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
Today, I found out that when my room-mate agreed to babysit someone's two year old kid for money, what he really planned on doing was dumping it with me. The kid won't stop crying and screaming. FML
Today, after presenting my husband with a more than fair request to pay me an hourly wage for being a stay-at-home mom, he laughed his ass off and told me if I want money so badly, I could get a job. He'd rather strangers in daycare raise our babies than pay me what I'm worth. FML
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Top comments
Alihb 16
Assuming you declined, did he offer to pay you in Trident Layers after?
NoMore_CoolNames 14
Leave in the most amusing way possible.
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Comments (117)
lmbachman 23
I think you were probably babysitting for my ex husband....
maggiewalters 17
Well... Why not? You are not seeing the color of that money anyway, you might as well have fun
gallaeo 21
Oh hell.....that sounds like a good start to some really mediocre **** there. So......did you accept his very generous offer?
locustbb 9
This is when you poop in his bathroom sink prior to leaving.
Ins0mau 20
He'd probably like that.
johnson1995 4
what did you say???
solarrunner 16
Prostituting yourself over a babysitting fee...damn what has this world come to...
bloodangel1973 8
Tell him ' sure, bend over'. Then shove a baseball bat up his ass... Handle first.
littlexlune 16
That's why you get the money up front.
icepick23 12
Cue the music...
Futacy 30
Well you didn't except it, did you?